Saturday, July 25, 2009

Old New York

My love affair, subsequent depression and continued pining for New York have been documented quite well here. So I won't go into painful detail, yet again, about how much I love love love NYC.

Because I do.

Everything about that time of my life made me happy. And the memories still do.

But I am a little ... scared of NYC now.

Not, like scared but, something.

You see, I worry that if I ever visit NYC again, I will never leave. The energy would be too much and I will succumb.

I just know it.

I would end up quitting my job, moving there on a whim and becoming a life-long waitress. (not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just I'm a little too ... obsessive to be a waitress. I also really hate people)

But still, NYC makes me soo fucking happy. Even just knowing it is there, should I ever wish to visit or anything, comforts me.

Like a toxic ex-boyfriend though, I know, it would not be a good thing for me to visit him right now. Or for a little while.

I have things I need to finish before I can trade my life in for my fantasy life.

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