Thursday, October 29, 2009

Picky. So what?

I have been single for a while now. And I'm totally ok with it. In fact, I think I'm better as a single - it's the only child in me. When P3 and I started dating, I said to a friend "this relationship stuff is hard, having to think of your life in relation to another human being."

It is. And to be willing to make that sacrifice, you have to really care about the other person.

Yes, sometimes I complain about being single - mainly because I miss falling asleep with someone or having standing weekend date - but it seems like every time I complain to one of my friends about my relationship status, they respond with "Well, you're too picky."

Are you ready for the rant, because here it comes.

When it comes to dating and relationships, there is no such thing as too picky.

I am picky about almost everything in my life. I am picky about what shoes I wear, my work, my friends, so why shouldn't I be picky about the men I date?

And I would understand if this pickiness problem was purely superficial. But it isn't.

In fact, while I sometimes quote a really superficial reason - zit on the back of a neck, lazy eye, bad shoes - they are not the real reason I'm not with the dude.

The real reason is that the chemistry wasn't there. They weren't funny enough, they weren't smart enough, they weren't ... something enough.

Yes, I am shallow, but I'm not that shallow - give me a little credit.

The thing that pisses me off about the 'picky' comment, is the people that are saying it to me.

They were picky. They were just lucky enough to find love early on. They didn't have to stumble through dating the way I have. They have no fucking clue how painful most of these dates actually are.

Don't I deserve to find the person that gives me butterflies, that makes me forget about their imperfections and focus how they are perfect ... for me.

And as my friend, why are you suggesting that I settle? Is it because you think there is fault in my single-state? Is it because you are hoping that if I'm dating someone, you won't get as many phone calls from me? Or is it because you just want me to shut the fuck up?

Whatever the reason, please stop. This is not a reason for me being single. If anything, it is an insult - I too deserve the sort of happiness you have found. I too deserve to find someone that makes me laugh, think and smile - the same as you.

And if you had been on some of the shitty dates I have, you would be picky too.

So, if you know a single person out there, give them a break. Picky is not a reason for their single state. The sucky state of dating probably is.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Rant o' the day

Let me preface this by saying: this has nothing to do with children. Or choosing to have children. Most of my family and friends have kids - most of which I love. In fact, I quite like kids.

This rant is for the assholes that bring their 8 month old to a packed movie theatre on a Tuesday night.

Kids are an inevitable part of life. I have to deal with them all the time, and I am able to smile and coo with the best of them. Like I mentioned, I quite like kids.

Children should not be a part of my movie-going experience. If you are bringing your children to the theatre, they should understand "SHHHH".

At the very least, they should be able to sit in a chair by themselves.

Because when they are too young, you are likely to ruin the movie for someone else.

Like me. Tonight.

First, you let your cute little girl play on the stairs.

Yes, the stairs. You were only three rows from the top and she was far enough away from you that a tumble was conceivable.

Second, while your cute little girl is playing on those stairs, please keep her away from my feet. Not only is it totally distracting, it is also a little scary - the last thing I need is a mother blaming me for their kid flying down the stairs.

Third, when your cute little girl crying, please remove her and you from my movie. There are matinees that cater to families. Please, go to those.

Thanks to this mom, and her crying baby, at a theater on a Tuesday night, I missed a seemingly important scene, was irritated and had to scold a mother - yes people, if you're child is bothering me, I will inform you.

And now, to top it all off, I am going to pay another $12 to see the movie because of this all.


Although, now, Tuesday movies are super cheap - $11.45 for a movie, popcorn and a drink.

What the what?!

Anyways, did I mention I actually like kids?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Niceties Ahead

This summer, The Peak (a local radio station) put on The Peak Performance Project. And while this would have probably gone unnoticed by me, Josh's band, The Painted Birds, were selected to participate in the contest. Therefore, I became very familiar with the whole thing.

The gist of it: 20 BC bands went for a week-long 'bootcamp' to sharpen their music-industry knowledge and skills. After the bootcamp, the bands perform and complete little tasks and are judged and rated. The public gets to vote for their favorite band, and the winner gets some ridiculous prize.

Tangent: Can we please stop using 'bootcamp' to describe every thing? Why is this the new buzz-word? Seriously?


Ok, first I want to say - I love this idea. That a radio station is interested in not only promoting, but actually cultivating locally grown talent is very cool. I don't know if this is a first, but it is the first time I have heard of something like this, and well, I think it is pretty fucking impressive.

So, where is all of this coming from?

Tonight, my friend Nikki and I went for some cheap, really cheap, Mexican and then to see The Painted Birds' perform for The Project. Bonus - it was free!

There was a difference in the band's performance. I had seen them perform last year, and they have improved. It was almost as if they were ... tighter or something. I don't know if this is because of the "bootcamp", or if they have just grown over the past year or if I was just sober this time.

I am crediting it mainly to the first, with a sprinkling of the second.

So, yay to The Peak. Yay to supporting local music. And yay to giving it to the public for free.

But boo to the word 'bootcamp'.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Folking Monsters

Tonight, I went to The Monsters of Folk.

I have to say, it was pretty freaking awesome.

I had listened to them before, but I was not expecting that show. They were a surprise like Wolf Parade and The Constantines were.

First - it was almost three hours of music. THREE HOURS OF MUSIC! No opening band, just these actual, monsters of folk making music.

If you don't know, Monsters of Folk is considered a 'super group' - if there wasn't a lamer term for it. The band consists of Jim James of My Morning Jacket, Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes and M. Ward.

All of the musicians in the group are great artists in their own right, and you can see it. The thing I loved though is that when they got on stage, there was little pretense, only music.

And really good music at that.

The tickets were a little more expensive than I am used to - but I still bought a concert tee, which shows you how good they really were.

And here is why I will never work for Rolling Stone: I loved the show, but I can't remember why. All I remember is having a smile on my face for most of it, and what can more can you ask for?

I do remember the song Dear God. The transition from Jim James to M. Ward was ... well, it was impressive.

And hello M. Ward. I wasn't sure who he really was when I went, but he blew me away. His voice, well, his voice is impressive - to say the least. In fact, in general, he was quite impressive.

As for Conor Oberst, well, there are few words. Bright Eyes is the creator of one of my favorite songs - First Day of My Life. I had hoped, after hearing the show was three hours, that Conor would make me pee my pants and perform the song. While he didn't, he did show me why my co-worker is taken with him.

So there you have it.

If you are lucky enough to have them show up in your city, do yourself a favour and pay the money to see them.

I promise, you won't be disappointed.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I and Love and You

Normally, I would find this pretentious or something ... a mission statement for an album. But not this time.

From The Avett Brothers album I and Love and You, as written by Seth Avett:

"The words 'I' and 'Love' and 'You' are the watermark of humanity. Strung together, they convey our deepest sense of humility, of power, of truth. It is our most common sentiment, even as the feeling of it is so infinitely uncommon: each to proclaim these three words with his or her own heart and mindset of reason (or lack thereof); a proclamation completely and perfectly new each time it is offered. Uttered daily and nightly by millions, the words are said in an unending array of circumstances: whispered to the newborn in a new mother's arms; shared between best friends on the playground; in the form of symptathy - said by a girl to a boy as the respect continues but the relationship does not. It is said too loudly by parents to embarrassed children in the company of their friends, and by grown children - to their fading parents in hospital beds. The words are thought in the company of the photograph and said in the company of the gravestone. It is how we end our phone calls and letters ... the words at the bottom of the page that trump all those above it, a way to gracefully finish a message, however important or trivial, with the most meaningful gift of all: the communication of love. And yet the words themselves have been the victims of triviality, a ready replacement for lesser salutations among near strangers, burst forth casually as 'love ya'. Truly? To what degree? Why, how much and for how long? These are questions befitting the stature of love, though not the everyday banter of vague acquaintance. The words have also been twisted by the dark nature of deceit; to 'I love you' with a dramatic measure of sythetic emotion; a snare set by those who prey upon fellow humanity, driven to whatever selfish end, to gain access to another's body, or their money, or their opportunity. In this realm, the proclamation is disgraced by one seeking to gain rather than give. In any case, and by whatever inspiration, these words are woven deeply into the fibers of our existence. Our longing to hear them from the right place is maddeningly and simultaneously our finest strength and our most gentle weakness. ...

We are powerful, yet weak, capable yet temporary. Inevitably, an attempt to place honesty within an artistic avenue will follow suit. This is a piece which shows us as we are: products of love surrounded by struggle. ...

Perhaps the inabilty to say these heaviest of words is as much a part of life as the lighthearted candor of those who say them without any difficulty at all. And so it ends with the phrase whispered to and by those of us most defeated and most elated ... I and love and you ..."

PS - the cd is pretty freaking good.

Friday, October 09, 2009


The problem with vacations, even short ones, is that they get me all ... distracted.

I come home and well, it is the last place I want to be. I would rather be on the beach somewhere, or exploring some fantastic city, with some fantastic person.

But instead, I am here, typing away, wishing I was anywhere but here.


This week, when I returned to work, for the first time in a while, I wished I was retired.

Tangent - why is retirement wasted on the old? I mean, I would have WAY more fun retired right now than any old person. Give me my CPP now, and I will start working again at 35 and slave away for the rest of my days. I don't care.

So, where am I wanderlusting to?


There's a side-story you need for some context.

When I was 14, my dad took me to the UK with his family. His family and I have had, let's say a rocky relationship.

While we were there, we took the Chunnel to Calais, France. As he was in the cafe buying lunch, he realized that Paris was only a 45-minute train ride.

He came out of the cafe excited - and he never gets excited.

"Iris! Paris is only 45-minutes away. Let's go. You and me and Paris!"

I had never been more excited for anything - PARIS?! For reals?

Well, this idea was quickly shot down by his sister. Apparently this was a family trip, and a visit to Paris with just he and I did not qualify as a family trip.

Fuck that.

Paris was so close ... like Westlock close, and I didn't get to go.


Recently, after many glasses of wine, my dad confessed one of his biggest regrets to me - not saying screw you to his family and taking me to Paris anyways.

This made me want the city even more. This city that was so close ... in my grasp almost, but so far away.

I haven't been back to Europe since and when I go again, it will be very different.

That is why I am thinking about skipping a family Christmas, because, well, they never go well, and heading to Europe.

What could be more lovely than spending a week in gay Paris in solitude? The city, me and who knows what.


I think it might just be a pipe-dream though. My mother would kick my ass if I missed a holiday with her.

Although she did just have heart surgery - that might have slowed her down a little. I'm sure she doesn't pack the same punch she used to.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Vegas' Y Chromosomes

There are a lot of guys in Vegas.

A lot.

Not all of them were ... quality men. In fact, while most provided good stories, only one name was worth remembering. The rest just made for good blog fodder. I think Andi got the brunt of the creepers - she is super hot and well, I just look kinda angry most of the time. meh.

So here, because I know you have all be waiting to hear about the escapades of Andi and Iris - who, might I add, are a bit like a girl buffet, something for every taste. Now, to the boys of Las Vegas.


While we are walking into the club, some guy just tells us to come with him, so we do and we end up getting in for free - we'll totally take the $20 savings each - however, we won't hangout with you another night. We're just not that into you.

Just because you do something nice, we are not obligated to spend more time with you. Your generosity is appreciated, but that is all.

As we are sitting down, a dude sits on the other side of Andi and starts to create a conversation - being polite, Andi obliges, until he asks "How tall are you?" When she answered, his response: "Cool! We're the same height - let's dance!!"

Seriously, has this worked before? Is it a turn-on to be the same height? Odd.

There was the cute Swiss boy - he was tall, European and well, very cute.And get this - he wasn't creepy! Also, yay for accents!

Boys - being cute and having an accent will always work in your favor. Always. Although, Nein sprechen sie Deutsch.

To the guy on the dancefloor that wouldn't leave Andi alone - yes, I pushed you and yes, I would do it again. Asshole.

Here's the thing - if a girl is unresponsive the first time you try to dance with her, it is likely that SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU. Don't try three more times, just move on. Idiot.


Um, Pure was BAAAD. The club was pretty, but the boys were a critical fail. No seriously.

Upon arrival, Andi gets stopped by an Aussie who wanted to 'mate' her. As he was holding us both hostage with inane conversation, he starts to talk about his search for juice in Las Vegas.

huh? I'm still confused. JUST GO TO 7-11 and stop talking about it with random people.

After we had broken free from the small Aussie, Andi gets stopped again, but this time by an older dude. This guy wanted to 'guess' which province and city we were from.

Again, huh? Is this a game that works boys? This guessing game? Because it shouldn't and if it has, you have been LUCKY.


Lavo was our last stop of Tuesday night and thank goodness. The music was good, the boys weren't as bad and well, we just wanted to dance.

When we sat down, Andi was approached by some random. This time, his topic of conversation was her job. When she mentioned that she works in an accounting office, he asked for two two-digit numbers and proceeded to try and multiply them .. IN HIS HEAD.

You get that she works in an accounting office and isn't actually Rain Man right? Ugh.

There was the old man that invited us to his table for champagne. Seriously, he was there by himself, with a couple of bottles and half naked woman flanking him - the girls weren't actually with him, but were at the club and he invited them over for company and free champagne.



After all the Vegas cheesiness, we were happy to be back in Canada where the men are slightly frightened of women.

That was until we were leaving Josh's apartment and two dudes get into the elevator with us. The conversation went like this:

Dude 1: Where did you ladies come from tonight?
Us: Um, just a friend's apartment
Dude 2: Of course they were in the building - where did you think they were, the sky?
Dude 1: Well, angels sometimes fall from heaven.

WHEN HAS THIS WORKED?! I mean, I am a fan of cheesy lines - if you are playing them as cheesy. These dudes were serious.

So, boys, the moral of the story:

Don't be a douchebag. If you want to chat with a girl, make sure she's actually interested in the conversation. No one's asking for deep conversation or anything, but give her something she can work with.

Above all else, remember: NO ED HARDY.

Tangent: What is it with Ed Hardy - why is this brand around? Who is wearing this shit? Who thinks it looks good? Please, stop buying Ed Hardy and buy a shirt with only a couple of colours and no bedazzled accessories. Even if you are from New Jersey - this is unacceptable. If you are from LA, well, it is just expected.


Sorry. So yes, the boys of Vegas were a'plenty, but the quality of Vegas was lacking.


Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Black 17!

I love gambling. I know it is a total waste of money, but I really really love it. The thrill of winning, and in Vegas, the free booze.

Wednesday Andi and I dragged our hungover selves out of bed and across the street for some grease. Then the pool was calling our names.

Can we just talk about The Wynn for a second? I freaking love this hotel - two sinks in the bathrooms, automatic curtains, great buffet, huge rooms, and fresh fruit by the pool. I didn't want to leave, and if I didn't have to work, I may not have.

Post-sunning, Andi went upstairs, but I went to wander ... over to the roulette table! Yeah!!

After five hours, countless drinks and many chips I thought it was a good idea to get back to the room and get ready for the evening - after all, it was 7PM!

As I stumbled my way through the hotel, looking for a way out, I realized something ...

I was drunkity drunk drunk.

After a shower, and a change of clothes, we headed out for the evening, however, the best thing about this night was going to be the food and the conversation.

We were told to go to LAX at the Luxor. It was the worst ever. Seriously.

Although my favorite conversation of the night occurred at LAX:

Iris: I give this place 20 minutes and then we should leave
Andi: I give it 10
Andi: (25 seconds later)Let's just go now.

Good. Life. Choice.

Monday, October 05, 2009


We got up late on Tuesday. It was awesome.

When we woke up, we knew one thing - we were hitting the hotel's buffet. And we were excited.

If you haven't been, Vegas buffets are a thing of beauty - samplings from around the world, decadent desserts, and sometimes, champagne.

The Wynn's was truly magical. The room we ate in looked like something out of Alice and Wonderland and holy fuck were there desserts. Shot-sized tiramisu and rice pudding, ice cream, various cakes and tortes and good god nearly everything. I had 7 items from the dessert section and I have mentioned, I am not a huge dessert fan.

We sat, we gorged, and then we slept.

It was awesome.

That night, we went to Pure. You will read more about it soon enough. We promptly left there, and went to Lavo at the Venetian. The music was good, the boys were more up our alley and we danced.

We were even home early - 4:30.

See, we can be good too.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Yet another reason

While I was searching for the David Letterman extortion video, I stumbled upon this gem.

The Avett Brothers are a personal fave, and a little alt-country band that isn't say, the biggest band in the world. Steve and I were lucky enough to see them perform last year and they really impressed us. They are incredibly talented, and because Dave is brilliant, he had them on his show in September.

Have I mentioned that I heart Dave? Also, if anyone has a working link to the extortion video, I would love to see it.

Sinners and the City

Before you get Vegas, you get context.

My friend Andi and I worked at the hotel together. She is a couple years younger than I am, single and hot. We were planning on going to Amsterdam and Oktoberfest, but the months flew by and we forgot to save money. So, we went to Vegas because, well, you couldn't beat the deals.

Seriously, we actually were able to stay at the Wynn! I thought the only way I'd ever get to stay in a property like that was if someone else was paying for it.

Ok, so now you know.

As soon as we got there, we oohed and aahed at how lovely the property was. We dashed to the roomed and were blown away by it. So big! And everything was just perfectly appointed. We changed, darted to get some food and lazed by the pool. It was 37 degrees that first day.

Yes, you read that right.

After the pool, we napped, slept till midnight accidentally and got up to get ready. By the time we got to the club, it was 1AM and a pretty big sausage party. But we're troopers and tried to make the best of it. heh. It wasn't hard.

We drank, we danced, we chatted with boys, we almost got into a fight with one, we made new friends, oh and we got into the club for free.

We were awesome.

Friday, October 02, 2009

A Bachelor's Life

Smelly Paul pointed out a few days ago that I am living a bachelor's life.

Going out on weekdays, doing random ridiculous things, basically, living a very selfish life. And not being one little bit apologetic for it.

And I unapologetically admit that is a perfect description.

As of late, Sarin have been living like we're older and smarter 22 year olds. Saying yes to random things and trying to be open to time being spent outside of our respective apartments. And, well, it's awesome, exhausting, but awesome.

Since September long weekend I have been: to Seattle for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, seen Franz Ferdinand in Malkin Bowl, been to a magazine launch party, went to The Pet Shop Boys with my boyfriends, seen The Monotonix, Holy Fuck, and I just got back from Las Vegas with my friend Andi.

Holy shit, I had no idea how ... busy September was until I wrote about it.

You'll get semi-full details of my trip to Vegas soon enough.