Saturday, March 14, 2009


No one likes to admit they are scared. There is something about being scared that feels weak - or something.

I dunno.

But I am going to say it, "I am scared."

My mom has to go for quadruple bypass surgery next week. I have never been this freaked out by anything.

All I can think about is how I have been a really shitty daughter. And that maybe I should move back to Edmonton. And what the hell would I do without her.


I can barely concentrate at work. Everything seems so trivial. Who the fuck cares about getting a stupid media hit - my mom is going in for major surgery.


And then I am also sick of hearing how it is no big deal.

Really? No big deal? REALLY!?

Are you fucking kidding me? They are going to cut open her chest and work on her heart. I am sorry, but it is a big-fucking-deal.


My poor mom. I can't imagine how she is feeling about this whole thing. She is all tough and acting like it isn't bothering her - which is probably more for me and dad than anything- but I can't imagine something like this not getting to someone.

It sure is getting to me.

She is my best friend. My champion and biggest fan. My life would be empty without her. I talk to her everyday, often multiple times a day, and I won't be made to feel stupid for that. I like talking to her. I like knowing what she is doing, how her day was and how annoying dad is.

Plus, she gave me life. I kinda owe her.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Cubicle Tours

I have mentioned several times how much I love my job.

And I mean, almost everything about my job. The view, the people, the actual work - everything about my job fits me.

One of the things I love most about my job is that they let me be me. I curse, and they don't mind. I am messy, and they accept it. I need my friends around, and they don't complain.

Now, having my friends around has become difficult considering that the majority of them live in Edmonton. But I have found a way.

Boy, have I ever.

This is my cubicle. You can see the clutter. There are pictures of almost (I said ALMOST) everyone that matters to me - I like to choose either the ones that I look the best in or make me giggle when I see them - although there are expceptions.

Example: I love the way Eve and I look in the pic behind my screen, but I get a giggle everytime I see the pic of Jarod and Smelly.

You will notice the gingerbread house to the left. I dislike Christmas a lot, and when I got back from China, my cube was wrapped and there was a gingerbread house left for me. Only the gingerbread house has pictures in the window. Not just any pictures, but the pictures taken for visas to China - one of me and one of my boss. We look like angry criminals, so even though it has been three months since Christmas, the gingerbread house remains.

I have a bottle of vitamin D - this started as a little Westside thing between my first cubie and I, but it is now just good health.

There is an ad my boss cut out for me. The headline reads "Are you an almost Indian". Hells yes.
The tub of vaseline, well, it's just the single best moisturizer known to man. Don't be dirty.

To the right, out of the shot, is my drawer full of treats. Chocolates in the first one and breakfast / lunch 'quick meals' in the second. You know, oatmeal, ramen noodles, granola bars - that sorta thing.

So that is my cube. I just thought I would share.