I hate being sick on vacation

Well even worse. I hate getting sick on vaycay. What is with that?? What am I being punished for?

Oh, well ... could be worse ... I could be sick and having to deal with Lisa. HA!!! Ok, that was a little mean, but very true.

Cabo is really nice. I would love to come back and do some adventure travel stuff. You know, the stuff my mom doesn't want to do with me. We got a killer hotel room here though, with an amazing view of Lands End. (It is these rocks in the water with an arch. Apparently famous)

Still waiting on the visa. Still a little antsy. Still sick. My life sucks. HAHA! It really doesn't.

Huh?

i

Cabo Wabo

Ok, I get that my life isn't that interesting right now. In fact, its a little boring. I have no money, no job, no man ... why haven't I shot myself yet? Oh yes, it is the promise of exciting things to come that has kept me alive.

The one thing I really like about my family is that they are totally random. I mean RANDOM!! My mom, aunt, cousin and I were sitting around the other day a little bored wondering if there was anywhere we could visit. My cousin works for Continental Airlines, so we have access to a lot of last minute travel destinations. SO we looked and looked and looked and we are going on a little trip. Cabo San Lucas here we come!!

I have never been. I hope it is everything the Girls Gone Wild videos have portrayed it to be. I mean, where else is my low self-esteem going to be on display better?

Basically I am letting you all know this to a)make you all extremely jelly and b) to make you all aware of the fact that I will not be posting at all this weekend. I will be on a beach, sipping pina coladas and being drunk off my ass!! WOO HOO!!!

Don't stop till you get enough

i

Just Breathe

Do you guys get busy heads? I do. They are so bad sometimes that I won't sleep all night. While this doesn't happen often, it happens enough for me to know that I need to calm the f**k down.

Sleepless nights obviously happen at times of stress and let me tell ya, moving across the continent, to a city, oh 10 times the size of Edmonton, with not a friend in site and a job that may or may not still be yours can cause stressful. SHOCKING!

I am in Texas right now with my fam and having a gay old time. We hang out during the day, play poker at night and then off to sleep. For most. For the past couple of nights my head has been just too stinkin' busy to sleep. What's going on the visa? What if they pull the offer? What if I have to come back to Edmonton with my tail between my legs, saying that I was thrown out of NYC? I would die!!!

So there you have it. Now EVERYONE knows about my anxiety-ridden existence. How I make it through the day without throwing myself off a bridge or even worse, without putting myself out there is unknown to me. I am still amazed most days that I am able to pull my sad little self out of bed. Ah ... to be a neurotic mess. Oh wait ... I am.

Some helpful links:
I love the web, you get to diagnose yourself!!


Warm it up Chris

i

What a long, strange trip it's been

So I was very excited / sad to come back to NYC. I love the city, but I was also leaving a major part of my life back in Edmonton. So Paul pushes me on a plane and I begin my journey.

By the time I get to Toronto, I am just ready to be in New York. I mean, there is pizza that needs to be eaten right!? SO I call my mom to let her know that I am bored and in T.O. She lets me know that HR has called and informed me that I am unable to start on Tuesday b/c of difficulties with my visa. ARGH! WHY! I could have been at home in Edm for longer? This sucks.

So I get to NY and spend the first day by myself in my new apartment. I was so tired, that watching about NY is the only thing I can do. This was accomplished through Seinfeld DVDs. My mom came the next day and we set everything up and ran various errands.

On Thursday Jarod came for a visit. First night, we went to Esthero. She is a Canadian electro-pop artist who ROCKS! She was seriously amazing. And I got to see JOHN LEGEND!!! You know, the guy who sings Ordinary People, Used to Love You. Great show, cool venue. We then went for some late-night Italian in Little Italy. The next day we walked the Brooklyn Bridge, and I took him to the Gansevoort Hotel to show him the amazing view. We then ended up at this awesome club dancing our butts off till 5 in the AM. Saturday was spent recuperating from Friday night and walking around lower Manhattan. We hit the Statue of Liberty and had a great dinner in SoHo. Sunday was busy. We went to lower Manhattan to re-capture a picture he had taken years ago. We then went to Markt for brunch. (I was trying to have another Bizarro Jarod experience but he was not to be found) We then went for a long walk in Central Park, tried to hit a couple museums, but they were all closed early. We then went to this club I had first been to with Autumn. Le Souk. The second I walked into the place the first time, I thought Jarod. And here we are TOGETHER! He totally dug it and well, I just felt super cool for even knowing about it. I rule! We then bought some pizza and beer and walked home drinking beer from brown paper bags! We are trash. The next day we went to the Museum of Cartoon and Comic Artists. Small but interesting. Jarod then went to the Guggenheim and I went home to clean a little before heading to Texas for my aunt's b'day and to get out of a funk that is too far deep!

So there it is. This blog is not dead, it was just on hold b/c I had no access to a computer! I felt like I was in the stone ages, and not the good kind. ARGH! I never realized how co-dependent I was on my comp. How do people find out about random things? Get addresses? Write on blogs? AHH!!!

Well when I return I will have my comp with me and all will return to normal. Long ass posts like this will not be necessary b/c I will resume posting everyday again.

So I have a discussion for you guys - the MTV Music Video Awards are going to be in NYC in a couple of weeks, and I want to get in to some of the parties. Any ideas how I should go about doing this? Let me know yo!

Let's hug it out!

i

I heart Edmonton

My whole life has been spent in Edmonton. Well not really, but the biggest chunk of it has been spent in this beautiful city. I have never had to say goodbye to anyone, I have always been the one being said goodbye to. There is a certain amount of comfort in this. You know that come the next day, you will be normal. It is the person getting on that plane that is going to be all screwed up. And you will be there to support them, but you know that your life is going to continue relatively unscathed.

I am no longer that person and I am hating it. I had my little party last night and it was so wonderful to see everyone and to hang with some peeps who know that I am chemically imbalanced and still like me (not sure if it is because of the imbalance or in spite of it). Good times had by all and thank you all for showing up to get rid of me. I appreciate it.

The end of the night came and what is this? I am having to say goodbye to people?? WTF!!! This is not what I signed up for! Sure I want to live in NY but I don’t want to LEAVE Edmonton. I FREAKING LOVE EDMONTON!! This isn’t cool!

And the thing that really sucks is that people always say “I will totally be coming to visit”, but you KNOW, you know that chances are, life will get in the way. Expenses arise and you can’t afford a plane ticket. It has happened to me. Eve has lived in Cali for so long and the last time I was out there was for her wedding. How messed up is that??

As I sit at this computer my heart is breaking. I am leaving these people that I LOVE. People that mean the world to me and have been the greatest support system any girl could ever hope for. And that could never be replaced or even come close to.

This past week has made me realize that I am giving up so much for this pipe dream of mine. Fridays sitting on a couch, drinking beer and going for random walks with Paul. Savoy with Anne and Brandy. Jarod and Steve cooking for me. Lisa’s post-party talks. Concerts with Lis. Just to name a few.

This sucks. Is this thing worth it? I suppose only time will tell. This is the thing. I am so excited to move but I can be really sad at the same time right?

To everyone that reads this blog. Thanks. It is flattering to know you are all willing to read my random thoughts and rants. It also helps to ensure you guys won’t be forgetting about me anytime soon, or I will totally kick your asses!

i

What is that smell??

Well it is the smell of fresh air. I love it! Carlee described breathing in NY perfectly, "You can never trust your second breath" One second you smell fresh bread, the next it is the rotting garbage from the corner. Here though, nine out of 10 times, you can trust your second breath. It is a luxury that I never noticed before. I do know though.

I went for breakfast yesterday and it lasted quite a while. No wonder Steve is sick of me and so excited for me to leave. Hmph. I see how it is. It was a great day though. Jarod and I went to Millcreek Ravine. I had never been in this area before and one of my favorite things about Edmonton is discovering new trails etc to explore on.

I then had to panic to get my paper done for school. This took up the majority of my day. I was haviing an issue writing yesterday. A paper that previously wouldn't have taken me very long, took me FOREVER!! I even had to cancel plans with my lovah ... Brandy. Don't get any dirty thoughts.

I think my dad spilled something on my keyboard b/c it is not typing the same as it once did. ARGH!!

Alright, off to get my transcripts. YAY!!

i

Enjoy the Silence

Ok, I am not listening to Depeche Mode right now, but I am doing exactly that. Enjoying the silence. I went for a walk yesterday in Hawrelak Park. Got down to the river, sat there for a while and heard nothing but a couple of dogs barking and birds chirping. Trippy man!!

NY doesn't have quiet like this. It is incredible. I was annoyed this morning when I heard sirens! Sirens are all I hear in NY and here they are disrupting my quiet so I am frustrated. How funny!

Oh, and the joys of not having roomates, or anyone around! I really did like my roomies, however, I have lived alone since I was 17. That is almost a decade of alone time. A girl kinda gets used to it, you know?

AND I have options here! Friend options I mean. I don't have to rely on the same people / person. I have options!

Can anyone explain to me why I am willing to pack up and move from here? What the hell am I thinking?? Am I drunk? Ok, not at this very second, but I probably will be at some time today.

Today I my boyfriend and his boyfriend are cooking me breakfast!! They make fantastic breakies. I am bringing champagne so there better be OJ for mimosas!!! When on vacation, breakfast ain't breakfast without a little hooch. If I were on a beach and it were pina coladas, no one would be judging me, and I don't think its cool that you are right now!

Anyone know the number for a cab here? I will need one to return from breaky.

Shhh ....

i

Tourist Day in Edmonton

Most people are never tourists in their own city. I had never really done the whole tourist thing in Edmonton before, but yesterday, my friend Steve suggested going on the Edmonton Ghost Tour. For $5 we got to walk around Old Strathcona for an hour and listen to a Newfie talk about the woman with the long black "here" - she was trying to say hair. Well the tour wasn't that great, but it was fun to get out and to walk around and to hang with Paul, Michelle and Steve.

During the day, well that was freaking fantastic! I went for lunch with my girlfriends. It was ab fab. I was drunk all day ... I am on vacation, do not judge me. You would think nothing of it if I was on a beach somewhere, so I am pretending that my balcony is a beach. Whatever.

Lis, Autumn, Chunk and I went to Da De O's for lunch. I love Da De O's. For all the times I have been, I have only ever ordered the crab cake po' boy with sweet potatoe fries .... mmmm ... sweet potatoe fries. Then we walked around Whyte Ave, shopping and hanging. It was a fantastic day in the City of Champions.

I realized it as soon as I drove into the city ... it isn't going to be easy to leave here. Logically, it should be an easy move. Edmonton to NY. Who cares right? But I LOVE Edmonton. This has been my home for 12 years now. Leaving this city and the amazing people that are here for me to depend on is going to break my heart. And I am not just saying that.

I think Paul is posting about our day yesterday, so you might want to check out his site to compare notes. Also, Ron is now in Korea. I have added his blog too. Email him, post comments, help him realize that we all love him and miss him too. (Which we do RBA! You are the MAN!!)

Ok, gotta go play chauffeur to Kim Jong Il. Well not really, but she is half North Korean.

Hasta la Vista!

i

Who says you can't go home again

Ahhh .... the joyous relief of walking into your home. I haven't felt that feeling in two months! I walked into my place for the first time and almost cried! My apartment in Edmonton is HUGE!!! I mean, not really, but compared to what I have been living in, this place is monsterous! OH ... I saw stars last night for the first time in a while too.

Its a relief to know that some things stay the same. Edmonton is one of those things. And I mean that in THE BEST WAY!! I love the comfort of knowing exactly what is going on and where to turn left. Not having to look at the map or ask a random person for directions. The comforts of home ... I never thought I would miss them as much as I apparently have.

As soon as I got home, I started wondering why the hell I want to leave again and how I am supposed to pack up my life in a week! What is that?! I have lived in this apartment for almost 5 years now. I have a lot of stuff. Do I take all of my pics? What about my books/DVDs? ARGH!!! This is going to be difficult! But I will do it. I am selling BlAcura this week. Sweet, sweet BlAcura. I don't know how many of you are aware of just HOW MUCH I LOVE MY CAR!!! Well I do. And selling it is going to be a difficult.

Ok, enough of me complaining. One of my oldest and dearest friends, Kai, just had his baby. World, say hello to Sami Salimaki. Another Salimaki boy, just what the world needs! TEASING!! Congratulations Kai and Norma! I can't wait to meet him!!!

Everybody Wang Chung Tonight!!

i

Two Months Already!!!

I know I have been sad a lot since I have been here. Mainly because I have been missing all of you guys, but my first two-month installment of NY is complete. And when I return in a week, I will be a full-fledged New Yorker. Can you imagine?! Me, little old me, living in NY! Amazing. I still can’t believe it.

These first two months have been incredible. I know my lifestyle will not be the same when I return. I will not be able to buy 12 pairs of shoes in 2 months regularly. I will not be able to go and spend a whole lotta money on brunch b/c I am a little bored. I will not have to escape the horrors of the NYU dorm b/c I now have a place of my own (a place I really like too) I am excited to actually live in this city, and not feel like a tourist.

But as of this moment in time, I am most excited to come home!! I will be home this weekend for about a week. Paul has kindly offered to DRIVE to Calgary to pick me up (why was Paul the only one of you guys to offer? Jerks) I am excited to sleep in my bed, and to go for a walk in the river valley. But I am super duper excited to see you guys!!! I have mentioned this before, but I am a co-dependent mess and going for this long without my friends hasn’t always been easy.

I told Chunk last night, that these past two months have both flown by and dragged on. In some ways it feels as though I JUST got here. I remember walking into the dorm, getting acquainted with the Union Square area and discovering how close SOHO was. But in other ways it feels as though these past eight weeks have been more like eight months.

So, like I said in my email, I do hope to see all of you in the next week. Some more than others (Everyone more than Lisa)

I will be home soon!

i

My New Place

So I have moved into my new apartment. I don't know if I have mentioned how much I love my new apartment! I really lucked out. I had been looking at places that made me want to shoot myself in the head. I looked at one place in Chinatown that was literally 12 x 12, with no air conditioning and it smelled like fish. Another place I saw was even smaller, probably 8 x 10, with no windows and a shower in the closet (and the renter acted as if this was normal!)

Well mom and I went hunting and hunting and hunting, and we finally found something. It is great. It is on the Upper East Side in a great neighborhood, about 20 blocks from work and about 10 blocks from Central Park and the Guggenheim. GREAT LOCATION!!! And the place is great. Its an actual one bedroom, with a dining room! Both of which are not rare in NY, but rare for my price range (which is very limiting). So here are some pics.


This is my living room.


This is my entryway.


This is my bedroom


Still in my bedroom

Another view of my living room


View from my kitchen

View of my kitchen and dining room


It is on the fifth floor of a walk up, so I will have killer ass in months, without ever hitting a gym!!! YAY!!! I hate gyms. Yuck!!

This place was like a god sent. I have never felt such relief as I did when I walked into this apartment and I haven't felt such happiness as I did when I was told I got the place!!!

Ok, that is all for now. I am relieved, and happily sitting at my desk, in my apartment writing this blog. This is great!!!

I think I am going to go to bed now.

G'night!

i

The Top Ten Things I Heart About New York

10. The architecture - I am not even a huge fan of architecture, but the variety here is incredible

9. The art - no, not the stuff in museums, but the stuff on the street. Art is just hanging out here, everywhere. Some of it is weird, but I like the way this city seems to have too much art and needs to just plop some of it outside.

8. The parks - There are parks everywhere! Its great. For a city this large, you need little pieces of SERENITY NOW! If you are walking home and you get a little tired, you will likely walk by a park you can sit and chill in for a couple minutes - except Gramercy, which is apparently a private park. What is that about??

7. The ego boosts - ok, from a girl that often has to deal with a lack of male attention - except from Jarod and Paul, who, as much as I adore them, just don't count anymore - the men here can really boost a girl's self esteem.

6. The museums - I don't consider myself cultured at all. My appreciation for art is very limited, but I am able to spend HOURS in the museums here. It is amazing. I can't imagine what it would be like to take an art history class while living here, you would be able to see the things you are studying up close and personal! INCREDIBLE!!!

5. The shopping - I am resisting the urge to put this as number one. I am a shopaholic and NY has some of the best in the world. The shoes! The styles! The sales! A person couldn't ask for more.

4. The music scene - this is probably the only part of this summer that I regret, not taking more advantage of the music scene here. I have yet to go to the Knitting Factory or CBGB's, but the fact that I got to see Bloc Party makes it all good!!!

3. The walks - I have walked from work to the dorm a lot. At least once a week, sometimes multiple times, and not once have I taken the same route or seen the same things. This holds true of all of my little walking adventures. I walk, get a little lost, and find another part of this city that is amazing. It is GREAT!

2. The hustle and bustle - I don't know another way to describe it. This city doesn't have a downtime. It's go, go, go all day everyday. Sure, it can wear you down, but it also energizes you.

1. EVERYTHING!!! - I know I have said it before, but there is nothing I don't love about this city. I love the street noise, the pizza (I SERIOUSLY LOVE THE PIZZA), delivery of ... well everything.