the harsh light of day

I never really got what was meant by that. Sure hangovers hurt, but the harsh light of day? That seems a little extreme.

Today, as I work on the website for a new business-venture, I am engulfed in the harsh light of day.

I have lost a friend, a climbing partner and a puppy, all at once. And it kinda sucks.

My world, my Vancouver-life, my whole existence has shifted.

After a fight, of which I won't go into details here, I am left feeling ... lost. P3 is such a big piece of what Vancouver is to me. He has shaped my experience here for he better. He has helped shape my life for the better.

And now, all I can do is smoke and work and smoke.

I know what the opinions are out there about my friendship with my ex. Believe me, I have heard it. I am a lot of things, but I am not stupid. I see how dysfunctional it is. But, believe me, the benefits far out-weigh the liabilities.

FAR out-weigh.

He has been my best friend for some time now - dysfunctional as it may be. He has accepted me for my shitty ways and given me Sia. I can't imagine my world without them - and it breaks my heart that I may have to.

Thank god I have a lot of work to do this weekend.