I usually consider myself a really good friend. I am there when people need me, willing to give a helping hand, always up for a fight if need be (preferably verbal, but physical if it is called for), but this past weekend I was a bad friend and feel horrible for it.
You see, I ran away when someone I care about needed me. I showed him that I don’t have his back and that he can’t rely on me when times get tough.
And this is horribly out of character for me. I will fight tooth and nail for a friend. I will stand by them when the going gets tough. But this time, rather than doing something that comes so naturally to me, I just left. I left him in the lurch and I feel horrible for it.
I don’t know how to make it up to him, to show him that my actions are in no way indicative of how much I care about him. I take my friendships seriously, and for me to leave him with the impression that I don’t is really upsetting me.
Like a lot.
I have apologized, but I know that may not be enough. This one hurt him a lot and I hate knowing that I caused someone I care about any sort of pain.
Ugh, worst Monday ever.