Where were you a year ago?

I can tell you exactly where I was - my flight had just landed at Dubai International airport, and I was in the middle of a million emotions.

You see, a year ago, to the hour, I stepped foot in my new home for the first time. It had been an emotional 20-hour journey - leaving home, my family, my friends, the man I was in love with - but I wiped my tears and got off the plane.

To say this has been an enlightening year would be an understatement. Moving to a new city always is, but this wasn't just a new city, it was a new bloody continent, 12 time zones from home.

Most of highlights have come in the form of travel. This year I made it to Singapore, Vancouver, Tunis, Houston, Copenhagen and London. Four continents, one year - not bad.

The work has been challenging and mostly fulfilling. It's been quite the change going from a small agency to a behemoth of a company. I went from working with six of my favorite people in Vancouver to a department of more than 200. I'm still blown away by all of the nationalities the company represents and how much exposure I have to the world outside of Dubai.

The lows have been mostly personal. From the end of my relationship, to the knowledge that life goes on without you, sometimes being away from home and alone really sucks.

Despite everything, I can honestly say that my regrets are few and far between. I'm ok (today), and that's a pretty good feeling.

It blows my mind that it's already been a year, and at the same time, it feels like I've been here forever. Funny how time can play tricks on you, isn't it?

So there you have it, an EXACT 365th-day post from the Middle East. 

Twenty Eleven

2010 was magical, there is no doubt about that. The Olympics, Paris, Switzerland, Hawaii, Vegas, weddings, it was all decently documented here, so I’ll try to not bore everyone with the details again.

But this year is about to come to a close. With two short days left in the year it is time to look ahead. Looking ahead though, frightens the shit out of me.

Almost 30, still single, and feeling a wee unsatisfied, I don’t know what I want from 2011.
And yes, I know I said I was ok with 30, but I may have been a big fat liar. There is so much shit that I want to do with my life, and I feel like I’m running out of time. I mean eventually, I want to settle down, find a boy to spend my life with, but I don't want to rush anything, and well need to hurry the fuck up. Time's running out!

That being said, I think from 2011, I want adventure. I want to feel like I took some chances on me, and maybe one or two will work, but if not, I want to look back on the year ahead thinking I grabbed it by the balls and made 2011 my bitch.

Also, I would like a new liver. This one won’t cut it for much longer.

Funny as hell

Seriously - does shit get funnier than this? I've watched this clip at least 20 times and still laugh out loud with each viewing.

It's HIGH-larious!

Head full of doubt

I mentioned that I made a mistake at work a couple of weeks ago. It was a silly mistake, and I am still not over it.

This mistake has left me ... doubtful.

Maybe I'm not cut-out for the business world. Maybe I am not as awesome as I like to believe. Maybe all the faith my company has in me is totally misplaced.

I can't help but think that the other shoe is going to drop. That I will be exposed as a fraud and that everyone around me is going to end up disappointed in me. That everyone will see my confident bravado is just that, bravado.

I know it's totally obsessive of me, but I can't help it. I am still unable to shake the doubt and it's definitely getting to me.

Just thought I would share.

54 days later

I haven't written anything in two months. I don't know why, but I haven't. My life has been busy, but it has also felt somewhat ... uneventful since the amazing trip to Europe.

Um, can we talk about how I still can't believe those ten perfect days were mine? That those aren't fake memories, but real ones? That the boy wasn't a figment of my imagination? Whoa.

I digress.

So what have I done in the past two months? Well ...

I've celebrated a great birthday with my boyfriend, been to Vegas for a stagette, moved offices, lost a beloved co-worker to a baby, saw some music, and continued my attempts to win over the Swiss boy.

So that's been my two months. It doesn't seem like a lot, but trust me it's been awesome.

There's the update. Hopefully I don't get lazy again, because let's not lie, that's what this lack of posts can be chalked up to.

Two drink minimum

I had a great end to 2009 and a super beginning to 2010. Here's why:

I was drunk.

Drunkity, drunk drunk.

It started on December 19, when I landed in Edmo and continued until January 2, when I put down my last drink.

While I was at Jarod and Steve's I polished off their big bottle of Baileys and a ton o beer. At my parents, it was a well-stocked liquor cabinet that kept me ... sedated.

The real trouble began December 27th, when Ron, Big Daddy, and I watched football and drank - all day.

And drink we did.

The final count for the day:
2 Baileys and coffee
1 gallon of beer (we went through 3 of the image to the left. THREE!)
1 shot of JD (I almost hurled, and Jarod make sure everyone knew.)
1 random shot
2 bottles of beer at home
3 bottles of beer at the airport (That's what happens when you get delayed 4 hours)
2 glasses of wine at home again

What did this equal to? My mom yelling at me for being drunk for the first time since I was in my teens. And one hell of a hangover.

My dad asked how I expect to get married when I spend the day drinking with two boys. My response? "Who wouldn't want to marry a chick that can keep up with two grown men?"

Yes. I'm awesome. Or in need of rehab. I'm not entirely sure.

The tale of two lives

I live in Vancouver. I miss Edmonton all the time. Sometimes, like now, I miss it more than others.

You see, magically, I have been blessed with two really awesome lives. Two lives that I can live fairly regularly thanks to the magic of flight.

Vancouver and Edmonton served very different purposes when I first moved. The two didn't overlap, and I was ok with that.

But they are starting to overlap. Vancouver is starting to become a 'home' to me. A place that I don't hate and one that is gaining in the friend department. But it's still no Edmonton.

This week here has been fucking awesome. I have had enough time to see almost everyone and spend some time with them. And good god do I miss these people and this city.

I honestly feel so lucky - I didn't go out searching for the most awesome friends in the world, but somehow, I got them. No seriously, try to out friend me. I'll win. I promise.

I come to Edmo and these people not only want to see me, but they make my trip and my time here so freaking great. And they make me wonder, would my life be better in Edmonton?

But then there's The Couve. I really do have the best job in the world. One that fits me and I fit it. I don't discredit how rare it is to want to go to work everyday. I look forward to seeing my co-workers and whatever challenges the days may bring - and they are always different - believe me, I fully appreciate how lucky I am.

Like I said, Vancouver is definitely gaining in the friends department. For the first time, I am thinking about having an actual birthday party in Vancouver. Mainly because I have more than two people to hang out with.

I just kinda wish my job was in Edmo. Like a lot. Unlike others, I don't love Vancouver enough to wish everyone moved out there. But I do love Edmo enough to wish I could find as awesome a job here as I have in Van.

That would make life pretty freaking great.

Jussayin'

Law of Inertia

I have always been the youngest in my family and amongst most of my friends, not to mention the eternal single girl. And I've always loved it - both positions allow for a certain degree of irresponsibility, which I bask in.

While I love being the youngest and love my single life, they are currently causing me to move away from my friends.

You see, most of my friends are all grown-up.

They have houses, and significant others, and children, and real grown-up worries.

I, on the other hand, am amassing frequent flyer miles, a lot of random stories, and pretty much standing still.

These people that have helped me grow are now grown. They have their own lives to worry about and comparatively, mine feels somewhat insignificant.

Not that they would ever make me feel like that. Never. They are too classy for that - and smarter because I would raise some serious hell.

But here I am, wandering through an insignificant existence. With nothing to show other than some fabulous shoes and a pretty decent wardrobe, there is actually nothing significant about my life - right now. God do I hope that this is a right now thing.

My biggest worry - this blog will be my only legacy. No kids. No great love. Nothing beyond a few unimportant words on the internet.

sigh.

As Sir Isaac Newton stated: A body persists in a state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force.

I need an external force. Something fierce.

The Big Finish

After the awesome-sauce that was the YYYs, Sarin and I drove like mad to make it home for Franz Ferdinand.

Well, I drove, but she was a great co-pilot.

SHAMELESS BOAST: We made it from Seattle to Vancouver in under 3 hours. We were in Surrey at 2.5 hours. I drove the shit out of that car bitches!

We pulled into Vancouver, with plenty of time for show #2 in country #2. Franz Ferdinand at the Malkin Bowl in Stanley Park.

Have I mentioned how cool Sarin and I are? Because we are. Really fucking cool.

All of my concert-cohorts had been to Malkin Bowl before and told me how great it was, but seriously, that shit is amazing. An outside concert venue in the forest.

Say what?!

The show was super good. Only the second best show I had seen that day, but the competition was unbeatable.

It was a very fun little dance party - made kinda magical by the rain.

After the show, we got lost in Stanley Park, and then I went to the Cambie with Josh and some of his friends. We drank, we laughed, good times all around.

The really strange part of the night comes after we leave and are heading home.

I have seen a live porn before, in Coquitlam on a pubcrawl. And last night, I saw another one.

There, on the sidewalk, in front of the whole world to see, a girl was laying down, spread eagle (pants still on) as her considerably larger boy / girl (we couldn't really tell which) partner layed on her, thrusting (pants on).
Then larger one apparently decided it was time to go home and proceeds to stop traffic to hail a cab. And the poof, they were gone.

Weirdest shit ever!

I got dropped off at home, in safe Kits, and as I am walking to my building, some dude starts making random conversation. As we're walking, I turn to go to my building and he makes the same turn.We live in the same building, and on the same floor. So we had a smoke in front of the building and talked about yoga.

Random.

And that is the second part of my Sunday.

holy fuck, that was a good weekend.

Totally worth it

How do you put into words your worth?

How do you articulate all the intangible qualities that make you you?

And when someone doesn't recognize your worth, how long do you stay? How long do you sit around and let this person or situation take advantage of you, solely for their benefit?

I have mentioned I am very loyal - to a fault in fact a lot of times - and I struggle with cutting ties and ending relationships. What if I have more to learn / gain / enjoy out of it?

So my question to my 10 readers - how do you know when enough is enough and to just walk away? How do you know when a situation is toxic enough that the best option for you is to remove yourself from it?

How?!

Because I am not really sure I know that point. When I have broken up with friends before, it was long after the relationship had turned toxic. Boyfriends, well, rarely am I the breaker-upper. And jobs, up until this one, I have only had jobs that were 'replaceable'.

*sigh*

Sometimes, I wish there was just a magic button you could push to get all the answers. How fucking lovely would that be?

Wake-up Call

I used to set them all the time. But I always hated receiving them.

I hate waking up. But today, I kinda got an unexpected wake-up call.

Today, something happened (I won't go into the details here) that made me think about my life and my immediate future.

Not in a deep, reflective sorta way, but thinking nonetheless.

I was thinking about Vancouver. Whether or not this is the place for me. Whether or not I would be willing to leave it tomorrow, if the situation warranted. Whether or not I would be willing to apply and take the job for $60k a year - despite that being considerably more money than I will see for years. Whether or not I am ok with losing the ties I have here, however loose they may be.

And when I was done thinking, I realized I am not really ready to leave Vancouver. That I am starting to have a little life here - with people I generally quite like, things I enjoy doing, and routines I have gotten used to.

For so long, Vancouver was tied to P3 - and that isn't the case anymore. No longer does every god-damn-thing remind me of him.

Thank fucking god.


Oh, on a lighter note, I was outside for my afternoon ciggie today and received a you-can-be-saved type pamphlet.

heh.

Know your target audience.

I had no idea

That Wes Anderson, creator of some of my favorite movies of all time (Royal Tenenbaums, Steve Zissou, Bottle Rocket) is behind the Fantastic Mr. Fox.



I know it's been a while. I have been writing on other blogs and neglecting this one. I apologize.

I promise to be better. Seriously.

So not bloggable

I had an interesting life once. It was full of fun activities, boys and random stories. It was lovely, and it gave me something to blog about.

That life is no more. At least right now. I am hopeful my life will become interesting again soon enough.

Where did that life go? I wonder that all the time.

Well, I think I have an answer - it went to work.

Work has become very consuming as of late. I work evenings, weekends, I have been coming in early and staying late. Work has become my life.

And I am not naturally disposed to being a hardworker. In fact, I am unabashedly lazy. It takes a lot of energy for me to work this hard.

Gah.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel though, and that light looks like Las Vegas. Lis, Chunk, Autumn and I are hitting up Vegas this weekend for someone's 30th - I won't name names.

So yes, I will get a break soon. I will get to dress a little slutty, probably make some poor life choices and have a tiny bit of regret when I get back, but fuck it. I am going to Vegas!

And maybe then, there will be something blog-worthy to talk about. Or maybe, they will be too scandalous to share.

I am ok with either.

Whoa

Two posts in a row.

Damn!

So, why the second post? Well ... I had a great weekend. Like a lot of fun.

Here is the breakdown of it:

Friday, I went over to Priscilla's for a little dinner and some company. Miss Priscilla has become a really solid friend, and has moved beyond just being my only friend in Vancouver, but to being one of my favorite friends. Period.

Saturday was great too. I have talked about my friend Josh - he is my rockstar friend. Well he was playing at the Biltmore. So I dragged Priscilla to an early (it started at 8pm) show.

First of all. I don't think I have ever been on the guestlist before. But he got me on the freaking guestlist! Who's a big deal? Yup, it's me.

Christer (the band Josh is playing with) is leaving for Australia really soon. So they played. Again, it is so interesting to see your friend up there playing music. I hate to be nice, but he is a pretty talented dude.

Anyways, after he played, we found this random Mexican place for some tacos and beer. It was great! The food was good, the place was interesting. It was like we stepped out of Vancouver for a minute and into Mexico.

Post burritos, we headed back to the Biltmore for some dancing. And dance we did.

Also, I was super popular. I saw a dude from the climbing gym, who came by to say hi. And then my new cubie randomly showed up. Random. I also knew another girl there, but didn't say hi - I think I have talked about the whole, don't say hi to people thing.

Anyhoo, we drank, we danced, and then we went to Josh's friend's place afterwards.

It was just a lot of fun. Like a lot. And totally not expected.

Also, I like that I am finding my groove. It is likely only fleeting, but there is groove. I have friends. I have people that like me enough to cook me dinner and put me on a guestlist.

That is pretty fucking cool.

Vacation Day!

Ok, not really.

Saturday I had to get up really early and work an event in Port Coquitlam - it is a suburb of Vancouver, that is all you really need to know.

So, I went, I worked, I was pooped. While I was working, however, I received four calls and two texts from Priscilla.

Have I told you about her? She and I went to the PR program together, she was friends with one of Smelly's exes and we worked together for a while out here. Us working together was the most fun ever. It was great. We come from a similar school of thought (on a lot of things, not just work) anyways, I won't talk about her too much, in case she reads this, but Priscilla is good shit.

I digress, so she stalked my ass and convinced me, after I had been working since 8 am, to go out to another event in Surrey.

She lured me in with the promise of treats and friends and that was all it took - off to Surrey we went.

We got lost, went shopping, crossed a couple of bridges, saw some mountains and some really trashy people - the whole 'Surrey' thing isn't just a stereotype.

I had a killer time. And I wasn't expecting to at all. Not only that, I didn't want to go and only did it because I felt bad making her go by herself.

Fucking Priscilla. I could have been sleeping.

A glorious feeling

January has been VERY busy for me. Between the culmination of the holidays and my birthday and us being short-staffed, I have been tired for a good chunk of the month.

So fucking tired.

Most of my time has been going to one project at work, and while the meat of the project doesn't take that long, the background shit takes forever.

FOREVER.

There is a consistent deadline, so I have nothing but my procrastinating ways to blame for having to work till the last minute.

But there is something about a tight deadline that makes me work ... better.

And when the project is done - let me tell ya - yay!

Tonight, I finished the project. There will be minor edits tomorrow, but the painful part is done. I always make a little treat at the end of a busy period. I get silly drunk and not think about work for a couple of days.

It is my own little carrot.

So, that is what I will be doing this weekend. Killing a few brain cells and giggling the stress away.

Who needs massages?

Musical brilliance

A co-worker sent this around today.

I think it's blog-worthy:

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

I was a bad friend.

I usually consider myself a really good friend. I am there when people need me, willing to give a helping hand, always up for a fight if need be (preferably verbal, but physical if it is called for), but this past weekend I was a bad friend and feel horrible for it.

You see, I ran away when someone I care about needed me. I showed him that I don’t have his back and that he can’t rely on me when times get tough.

And this is horribly out of character for me. I will fight tooth and nail for a friend. I will stand by them when the going gets tough. But this time, rather than doing something that comes so naturally to me, I just left. I left him in the lurch and I feel horrible for it.

HORRIBLE!

I don’t know how to make it up to him, to show him that my actions are in no way indicative of how much I care about him. I take my friendships seriously, and for me to leave him with the impression that I don’t is really upsetting me.

Like a lot.

I have apologized, but I know that may not be enough. This one hurt him a lot and I hate knowing that I caused someone I care about any sort of pain.

Ugh, worst Monday ever.

Plans?

YES! Actually I do have plans this weekend and I am very excited for them.

My friend's husband has organized a pubcrawl for his birthday. I have never been on a pubcrawl before and I really thought I would never go on one. I mean, really, my time has passed. But this one is going to be people of my own age group, so it should make for a good time.

I have no idea where we are going or what we are doing, but at 7PM tonight, I am getting on a bus and heading to god-knows-where to drink excessively.

I feel like a girl of just 25 again!

Has it been that long?

I just realized that I haven't posted in over a month. How ridiculous is that?? So here is the first of a few, just for a brief catch-up.

I have been so fucking busy. Like stupid busy.

I have been rock climbing. I really like it so far, although with my fickle nature, that will likely change in no time.

I have been so tired. Drinking coffee tired. I hate coffee. The taste, the caffeine, nothing about coffee appeals to me. But here I am, drinking a cup the second I get into work. What is that?!

I am in love with my new apartment. I think it is pretty great. Now all I need is a maid and everything would be great.

So there it is, the quick and dirty catch-up of my not-so-fabulous-life.