Twenty Eleven

2010 was magical, there is no doubt about that. The Olympics, Paris, Switzerland, Hawaii, Vegas, weddings, it was all decently documented here, so I’ll try to not bore everyone with the details again.

But this year is about to come to a close. With two short days left in the year it is time to look ahead. Looking ahead though, frightens the shit out of me.

Almost 30, still single, and feeling a wee unsatisfied, I don’t know what I want from 2011.
And yes, I know I said I was ok with 30, but I may have been a big fat liar. There is so much shit that I want to do with my life, and I feel like I’m running out of time. I mean eventually, I want to settle down, find a boy to spend my life with, but I don't want to rush anything, and well need to hurry the fuck up. Time's running out!

That being said, I think from 2011, I want adventure. I want to feel like I took some chances on me, and maybe one or two will work, but if not, I want to look back on the year ahead thinking I grabbed it by the balls and made 2011 my bitch.

Also, I would like a new liver. This one won’t cut it for much longer.

What I want

I'm getting a little sad.

Several months ago I returned from Europe with a spring in my step and hope in my pocket.

I sit here today with very little of either. I have lost the hope and I have lost the spring. And it makes me so sad.

The reason for the hope is starting to distance himself - as he should. It has been more than a year since we originally met. More than a year of being 8333km away from one another. More than a year of thinking about him and wishing with every little piece of me that this boy I met lived just a few time zones closer to me.

But alas he doesn't.

When I came back from Switzerland I thought there was a chance of him coming to visit before next year. I thought I had left enough of an impression on him that he would take a risk and fly across the world. Of course he didn't - how silly was I to even think that?

Pretty silly.

The earliest he may come here is March 2011. That would make it a year since I was in Switzerland. It's already been months without a decent date. And for all I know he is dating many women, or heck, maybe the reason for the distancing is that he found an actual girlfriend. Like I'd mentioned before, he's too cute to stay single for much longer.

I'm too scared to ask though. Too scared that he has had enough sense to move on, when I have not. Too scared to find out that I'm not worth waiting for, when I believed (and still do) that he is worth waiting for.

sucks.

*swoon*

So, let's go from serious stuff to the shallowest of the shallow - my top five list.

Top five what you may ask. Well, this list is my of top five men. You know, the ones that make you swoon, all teenager-like. The ones that would get you to ditch your girlfriends for an evening. You know.

These are in no particular order, and only one is a recent addition. The other four have been consistently listed for years.

I'm a loyal chick, what can I say?

George Clooney
He is old school Hollywood - without the sleazy Holllywood thing. He has only gotten better over the years. That smile?! OMFG. I am not sure when he was at his hottest. I noticed him on ER, but I think I fell for him in Out of Sight.

Also, he seems like a pretty cool dude - he seems to stay out of the whole crazy life and just keeps his shit on the down-low. He is hella smart, and personally, I believe him to be an all around great guy.

We would have great conversations and laugh and play jokes and ... ah. Life would be so lovely, with George and I.



Justin Timberlake
I am not afraid to admit this, I liked N'Sync. Whatever! I am a girl, it was a group of boys singing danceable music and one of them was the cutest dude alive.

That dude was Justin.

And he has since grown into one of the most swoonable dudes alive. He is fucking funny, just Google his SNL stuff. He is uber-stylish, has a smokin' bod. He can dance in high-heels!

I once had a dream that Justin and I were dating. It was great. He is great. A beautiful man with a beautiful soul. swoon.


David Letterman
I admit, this one is a little unconventional. He isn't exactly leading-man good looking or young or anything like that.

But fuck is he funny. He is sharp and witty and self-depricating and everything I appreciate in a sense of humour. And all of this, I believe makes him smart as hell, and what is hotter than a smart, funny dude?

Nothing. That is why, even married and well into his sixites, David Letterman is still on my top five. And why I will never be able to be a Leno fan.

Chuck Bass
OMFGG. I love love love Chuck Bass. I am in my late-twenties now and this may be super lame, but Chuck Bass gives me butterflies.

There is something about his ridiculous clothes and cocky swagger - something about how they hide a vulnerable soul.

Oh Chuck Bass.

I don't really know anything about Ed Westwick, and I don't really think it's about him.

This is definitely about Chuck Bass.


Ben Affleck
I love Ben. I have since Good Will Hunting. I loved him during the Bennifer years and I just can't take him off this list.

He is way better looking than Matt Damon, he seems funnier and more socially aware. He is politically active, but not a leotard about it.

Since the media blitz of Bennifer, he has become much more low-key. And he just seems like a pretty down-to-earth dude.

Although I have a hunch that he is a Patriots fan, so that might cause an issue or two million.