First Trip Home ... Two-Month Hindsight

Two months ago I went home for a visit. To say my trip home was an intense one would be an understatement.

The visit was only ten days. With an 11-hour time difference and a 20-hour travel day, ten days is not enough. It took me most of the trip to get over the jet lag, and then BAM I was on my way back to Dubai, facing another 20 hour travel day. Blerg.

Also, ten days does not leave you enough time to see everyone or do everything you wanted to do. There are many people I just didn't have the time to see, and that sucks.

The trip also drove home exactly what I left--one of the most beautiful cities in the world, where the colours are bright, the air is fresh, and walking is the norm. Vancouver went out of its way to make me want it, with no rain, the Celebration of Lights Fireworks and some of the best people I know.

Do you see how pretty it is!?
The view from a bench in Stanley Park

Beyond the residents, I got quite the treat because Jarod and Steve flew from Edmonton just to visit little ol' me! I know, I'm spoiled, but I love that they love me enough to do something like that.

It was also intense for some very personal reasons. I won't go into the details here, but my trip home proved that long distance relationships are the hardest to make work. And in the end, mine did not.

The last point is the hardest to swallow and the one which makes me question my life choices on a regular basis. I had been waiting years to meet a man I could be with and who wanted to be with me. But my dream came before my relationship and the relationship suffered. I knew this move would come with consequences, but I regret every day that my relationship with this wonderful man was one of them.

Above all else, this trip proved that Vancouver is my home. Edmonton is my hometown, but Vancouver, thanks to the people I have been lucky enough to meet there, is my home.

When I returned to Dubai, my first instinct was to give my notice and run back. I haven't, and I'm not likely to revisit that idea until I've done a full year here. I made this move to explore--this region, the industry I now work in, the cities we fly to, and the experiences from all of the above.

With everything this move has cost me, I'd be a fool not to stick it out to at least try and see some returns on this investment.

Singapore Vacation Highlight: Food

I landed in Singapore with no idea of what to do or sights to see – this was the least prepared I had been for a vacation in a very long time. 

To be honest, I’d never thought about Singapore as a place I needed to visit. The impetus for this trip was the fact that my friend is moving to Dubai at the end of the month, and well, a free place to stay in an expensive city like Singapore is always welcome.

Since I didn’t do any research, I was at the mercy of my friends for recommendations.

This little piggy went
in my belly

It just turns out that most of their recommendations were for restaurants. 

Did you know that Singapore is a foodie haven? I didn't. I thought I'd definitely get some good Asian food, but I had no idea how good this food was going to be. 

My first day I met a former co-worker, Amy, for dim sum. YUM! So far I haven't found the affordable, authentic dim sum in Dubai. Well, Singapore had it!

That night we went for some lovely European cuisine, where I of course ordered pork, because the kitchen wasn't Halal. 

For a midnight (well, 4am) snack we stopped at an all-night street food place and had some damn fine Indonesian food. (I fell in love with Indonesian food in Amsterdam, and there's one good place in Dubai, but it's hella far for me)

For lunch the next day we enjoyed a Singaporean specialty: chili crab! 

When my parents visited Dubai one of the hotels had a chili crab festival and it was so good, but the real deal was even better. 

Peking duck? A million times yes. 

After chili crab was suckling pig and Peking duck. Good god. The skin on both was so crisp and delicious. I'm a grown woman, not afraid to admit that I totally got the meat sweats after this dinner. 

I regret nothing. 

The last day was less intense - mussels and then some burgers - but all of it was top notch. 

I didn't see the zoo. I missed Sentosa. Museums? meh. 

I went to Singapore and I ate. And ate. And ate. 

And when I go back, which I will, I'll do the same. Happily. 

Representing Reputations

When I came to Vancouver five years ago, I had no social life. I had no life in general. Work was my life, and because I liked my work so much, it was a-ok with me.

You see, Reputations was the only outlet I had for normalcy. When I left the office, I either went home to a boyfriend who didn't really like me that much, or to an empty apartment. Seeing my co-workers was the highlight of my day, as sad as that sounds.

But the thing is, my work was pretty freaking cool. We worked on the coolest projects - how many people have worked with a top Olympic partner? Or organized a press conference in North America's first supervised injection site? Or worked for the world's largest retailer? Or helped Discovery Channel film segments for Daily Planet? Or had cocktail hour every Friday?

I did. BAM!

The off-beat nature of the company helped fuel my creativity and my connection with my bosses and co-workers gave me the 'family' I needed to not run away from Vancouver.

I can honestly say that Reputations gave me the most unique employee-boss relationships in the history of jobs. And because of Reputations I have been lucky enough to find mentors, friends, and a circle that kept me from feeling too alone.

To my bosses, I am forever grateful for the chance you took on me, and the faith you had in me. And though I didn't love all of my co-workers, I am grateful for most of them and for everything they taught me about public relations and Vancouver.

I'm sad to leave the best PR team in Vancouver (and I'm pretty sure the country), but I know that my new job wouldn't have been possible without Reputations.

Five days and counting.

Clean your closet, clean your soul

An episode of hoarders. (Photo credit: BuzzFarmers)

Yesterday I went through all of my (many) pairs of shoes to figure out which ones were coming with me to Dubai.

After an hour or so, I decided to sell or give away 41 pairs of shoes.

41!

Despite me being totally disgusted by myself, it felt great to get rid of so much stuff. It is interesting to know by the time I leave Vancouver, my life will be a leaner, trimmer version of the one I had here.

Today I'm going through my coats and clothes.

Having never shared a closet, I've never really had to cull my collection. I've allowed my wardrobe to grow and grow, with little thought of how big it has actually grown.

It's become apparent that I should have been on Hoarders a while ago. And I think my friends were irresponsible for not suggesting that a while ago.

11 days and counting.

It's just different

Zemanta suggested the photo, so I included it. (Photo credit: Amanda M Hatfield)

I've moved several times in my life. Some might even call me a bit of a gypsy, and that's fine by me. I like that one day I'll be able to tell stories of life in Slave Lake, Toronto, Edmonton, Tampa Bay, New York City, Vancouver and soon, Dubai.

If you ask me, it makes me colourful.

This move, however, feels bigger. Each emotion feels heightened, each moment feels more significant.

I don't know if it's because I'll be leaving behind a man I've been waiting a very long time for, or if it's the considerable distance and cultural differences that await me on January 14th.

Regardless, this move feels bigger.

As excited as I am, I get a pit in my stomach when I think about not seeing my friends, family and the boy I love for many months. I can't say two words about how much I'm going to miss everyone and everything without breaking into tears.

Now, this doesn't mean I'm questioning my decision - you don't say no to your dream - but it does mean that this move comes with more sadness than I originally expected. And I think we're all aware of how bad I am at emotions.

I'm becoming a bit of a mess.

14 days and counting.

Let the emotions begin

It's about two weeks to go before I leave Vancouver, and already the emotions have begun to take over.

Everything feels like a 'last'. Yesterday I landed at YVR and noted that this would be the last time I say, 'I'm home' when touching down. I went to my favourite sushi place today and wondered if this would be my last visit.

I feel like crying at almost every turn, and have been.

I was offered the job in September, and it's been many months of me wondering when my 'lasts' would be, but now it seems they have begun, and that really sucks.

Should you see a tall brown girl wandering the West End of Vancouver intermittently crying, avert your eyes - it's just me facing reality.

15 days and counting.

New Year, New Everything

For the past five years, I have had a tumultuous relationship with Vancouver. Despite its intrinsic beauty, I haven't always been happy here. Then the past year happened and, well, happiness was all this city gave me.

Huge doses of happiness.

I have fallen in love with a boy and the city and it is with so many emotions that I announce my departure from Vancouver.

Come the new year I will be leaving Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada AND North America.

In January I become a resident of Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

My new role is an exciting one: working for Emirates Airlines in the company's public relations department.

I'm actually moving to a city and country I've never been to before. I'm still in disbelief.

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may remember a post from almost five years ago outlining my bucket list. Living in Dubai has been on my bucket list for long before that post was written. Last year, while floundering about, I was on the verge of giving up public relations and applying to be a flight attendant with Emirates, so it blows my mind that my dream of working in Dubai and my longtime goal of cheap flights might come hand-in-hand with some great resume-building opportunities.

As excited as I am, it breaks my heart to leave the person who has made me feel more love than I knew was possible.

The timing couldn't have been more unexpected. I've applied for this job several times before and the night I got the email for the first interview, I told Sarin: "For the first time since moving here, I'd be  sad if something made me leave Vancouver."

Just five short hours later the universe responded by saying "bitch, you ain't in charge".

But when presented with something like this, you say yes. You just say yes.

There will be many more posts between now and the day I leave outlining every emotion I am going through. I honestly had no idea I could feel this many emotions at one time.

SO. MANY. EMOTIONS.

The Year That Was 30

So 30 was kind of awesome and I feel totally unphased by 31.

Thirty brought me travels to Europe - Rome, Florence, Venice, Milan, Berlin & Amsterdam. Of them, Amsterdam was my favorite, Rome had the best food, and Berlin the best beer, but the Venetian men were the hottest. Hands down.


Thirty brought me closer to my parents - our trip to Italy made us appreciate how special this family of three is and how important it is for us to fight for each other, rather than with each other. While it didn't help my co-dependence, it did make me a better daughter.


Thirty brought me the biggest test of my professional life. From leaving the job I loved so much, to hastily taking a job I knew wasn't right, and finally finding my way back to where I want to be. Thank goodness Reputations wanted me back as much as I wanted to go back. I am so happy to work in an environment that encourages my wackiness and believes in my talent.

Thirty brought many men into my life, but only one stuck, and well, he's pretty fucking awesome. We'll see how long it lasts, but I really hope it lasts a while -- he's got some serious potential. I was starting to believe that smart, funny, kind, normal, straight men were a pipe dream; ladies, I'm here to tell you, they're not. And some even live in Vancouver! For the first time in my life, I'm starting a new year with a boy by my side. It's kind of awesome.

Thirty brought me talkfoolery. I love that I have a weekly outlet for my thoughts, ones that are sometimes too questionable to share elsewhere (Have you checked us out yet? No! Well you should, we're all kinds of awesome)

So yeah, 30 was definitely a good year.

Moving on up!

For the past four years I have lived in a huge garden suite in Kitsilano. I love the size of my apartment, but hate how little sun it gets. Also, I actually dislike Kits as a neighborhood, though I really enjoy how quiet it is. I have never really spent much time in my neighborhood, often living my life in downtown.

While I was being all flakey over the summer, I decided that come what may, the new year would mean a move--either to another city or a different apartment. I knew I wanted out.

So come January 1 I began looking. A couple of days into the apartment search process, I stumbled upon the unimaginable: an unobstructed view of the ocean!

You read that right.

It's the size of a shoebox, but within my budget, and it gets a ridiculous amount of sun. I sign my lease papers later this month and then start the moving process. I'm sofa king excited it's silly.

Listen, I can move to any city in the world, into any building in the world and look into another apartment -- that is likely my future -- but I can only live in one city in the world and have a view like that.

How excited am I? I voluntarily sacrificed (a lot of) closet space. That means there is going to be some serious consigning going on.

No seriously, anyone looking for a dining table? It's really nice.

Today I knew, I made the right decision

Obviously I didn't really talk about the happenings of the past month or so. They have been a little complex, so I needed to get my head straight before I could articulate what's up.

After today, I think I'm ready, so let me try.

A few weeks ago I had a job offer in Toronto.

Yes, I said Toronto. I wasn't necessarily looking to leave my current job, I've talked about how much I love it after all. But I do like the idea of getting some interview experience and keeping your resume fresh. So whatever, I randomly applied for a job in Toronto that I wasn't qualified for.

But I was given an offer anyways. Apparently, I'm marketable.

This job offer was lovely. The firm seemed great, the people super nice and the work interesting. It would have been a lateral move - no doubt - but it wouldn't have been a bad move. In fact, I think some people believe it would have been a really good move.

I digress.

I received this offer, thought about it, talked to my bosses about it - after all, for the past three years, they have been my most tangible mentors - but then chose to decline it.

In seeking advice from all fronts, my friend Josh said "Whatever decision you make, it will be the right one."

I thought it was nice advice, but didn't fully believe it until today.

You see today, I found out a stupid, uncharacteristic mistake I made almost got us fired. A client was so upset with my work, that it almost resulted in us losing the account.

I wanted to die.

While I like to pretend that I have a pretty pulled-together life, in reality, the only pulled-together thing I have is work. It's the only place I am confident, capable and moving in the right direction.

My personal life is a mess.

Again, I digress.

I haven always prided myself on being good at my job. I have never been fired from anything and the idea that something I did put my agency in a precarious position really got to me.

I spoke to my boss about it in general terms, as this information was given to me in confidence. As she reassured me that the loss of a client will not result in the loss of my job and that this company believes in me, I knew:

I definitely made the right decision.

So, for the first time, I chose Vancouver. I chose it over the bright lights, big city of Toronto, which, in turn, means I may have chosen it over New York.

Who knew that would ever happen?

Chag Kashruth Pesach

This past week marked a little milestone for me - my first real-life Passover experience, with God's Chosen People and all!

You see, my girlfriend invited me to celebrate Passover with her and her family. I was the only Gentile in attendance. It was a full evening's worth of food, prayer, singing and wine.

And let me tell you, Sarin's mom can cook! I got matza ball soup, tapas and spreads of every variety, so many main course options it was like a restaurant and some serious dessert yumminess.

Also, I totally got to see Sarin get her Jew on - she was singing, and praying and everything! She refused to put on her traditional Passover clothes, which was a little mean of her, but whatever.

I felt like I was meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time - I was nervous and excited and well, I'm really grateful to these people for having Sarin -  and I wanted to make a good impression.

Anyways, just a little shout-out to Sarin and her familia - thanks for the Passover goodness. It was totally the best Passover meal I've ever had.

Birthday Treats!

I've mentioned a few times how much I love my birthday. I know it's lame, but I really do. It's the only day dedicated to you - even when it's not.

This year, I was a lucky duck and received a plethora of birthday treats.

First, Andi and Ron flew up from Edmo to help ease my aging-related sorrows. We wandered around the city on Saturday, went to an Edmonton bar for lunch and the game and basically walked our asses off. Oh, we saw the Main Press Centre and heard many a foreign accent ... the Games are gonna be good.

I digress.

The evening was supposed to be ... normal. Sarin had offered up her place for a gathering - I was thinking a pizza party, with booze and treats, and that would be that.

That wasn't that at all!


My Vancouver bitches blew me away.

Priscilla, Sarin and Mariel had put together one hell of a party actually. Complete with Justin Timberlake cake (I think I yelped when it came out), grown-up Twister (no nudity), theme, jello shooters, background images, ambient lighting, music, chicken & waffles, fondue ...

The list goes on and on.

And the best part: I had no fucking clue.

I LOVE surprises.

They are just oodles of fun - unless they're bad surprises, then, well, they aren't fun at all.

Anyways. Team Vancouver really caught me off guard.

So my 29th year started off really great - I felt very special.

Also, a chick in the bathroom at work was shocked when I told her my age. So, I'm totally ok with 29.

I'm totally ok with 29. I'm totally ok with 29. I'm totally ok with 29.

The tale of two lives

I live in Vancouver. I miss Edmonton all the time. Sometimes, like now, I miss it more than others.

You see, magically, I have been blessed with two really awesome lives. Two lives that I can live fairly regularly thanks to the magic of flight.

Vancouver and Edmonton served very different purposes when I first moved. The two didn't overlap, and I was ok with that.

But they are starting to overlap. Vancouver is starting to become a 'home' to me. A place that I don't hate and one that is gaining in the friend department. But it's still no Edmonton.

This week here has been fucking awesome. I have had enough time to see almost everyone and spend some time with them. And good god do I miss these people and this city.

I honestly feel so lucky - I didn't go out searching for the most awesome friends in the world, but somehow, I got them. No seriously, try to out friend me. I'll win. I promise.

I come to Edmo and these people not only want to see me, but they make my trip and my time here so freaking great. And they make me wonder, would my life be better in Edmonton?

But then there's The Couve. I really do have the best job in the world. One that fits me and I fit it. I don't discredit how rare it is to want to go to work everyday. I look forward to seeing my co-workers and whatever challenges the days may bring - and they are always different - believe me, I fully appreciate how lucky I am.

Like I said, Vancouver is definitely gaining in the friends department. For the first time, I am thinking about having an actual birthday party in Vancouver. Mainly because I have more than two people to hang out with.

I just kinda wish my job was in Edmo. Like a lot. Unlike others, I don't love Vancouver enough to wish everyone moved out there. But I do love Edmo enough to wish I could find as awesome a job here as I have in Van.

That would make life pretty freaking great.

Jussayin'

Law of Inertia

I have always been the youngest in my family and amongst most of my friends, not to mention the eternal single girl. And I've always loved it - both positions allow for a certain degree of irresponsibility, which I bask in.

While I love being the youngest and love my single life, they are currently causing me to move away from my friends.

You see, most of my friends are all grown-up.

They have houses, and significant others, and children, and real grown-up worries.

I, on the other hand, am amassing frequent flyer miles, a lot of random stories, and pretty much standing still.

These people that have helped me grow are now grown. They have their own lives to worry about and comparatively, mine feels somewhat insignificant.

Not that they would ever make me feel like that. Never. They are too classy for that - and smarter because I would raise some serious hell.

But here I am, wandering through an insignificant existence. With nothing to show other than some fabulous shoes and a pretty decent wardrobe, there is actually nothing significant about my life - right now. God do I hope that this is a right now thing.

My biggest worry - this blog will be my only legacy. No kids. No great love. Nothing beyond a few unimportant words on the internet.

sigh.

As Sir Isaac Newton stated: A body persists in a state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force.

I need an external force. Something fierce.

Folking Monsters

Tonight, I went to The Monsters of Folk.

I have to say, it was pretty freaking awesome.

I had listened to them before, but I was not expecting that show. They were a surprise like Wolf Parade and The Constantines were.

First - it was almost three hours of music. THREE HOURS OF MUSIC! No opening band, just these actual, monsters of folk making music.

If you don't know, Monsters of Folk is considered a 'super group' - if there wasn't a lamer term for it. The band consists of Jim James of My Morning Jacket, Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes and M. Ward.

All of the musicians in the group are great artists in their own right, and you can see it. The thing I loved though is that when they got on stage, there was little pretense, only music.

And really good music at that.

The tickets were a little more expensive than I am used to - but I still bought a concert tee, which shows you how good they really were.

And here is why I will never work for Rolling Stone: I loved the show, but I can't remember why. All I remember is having a smile on my face for most of it, and what can more can you ask for?

I do remember the song Dear God. The transition from Jim James to M. Ward was ... well, it was impressive.

And hello M. Ward. I wasn't sure who he really was when I went, but he blew me away. His voice, well, his voice is impressive - to say the least. In fact, in general, he was quite impressive.

As for Conor Oberst, well, there are few words. Bright Eyes is the creator of one of my favorite songs - First Day of My Life. I had hoped, after hearing the show was three hours, that Conor would make me pee my pants and perform the song. While he didn't, he did show me why my co-worker is taken with him.

So there you have it.

If you are lucky enough to have them show up in your city, do yourself a favour and pay the money to see them.

I promise, you won't be disappointed.

A Bachelor's Life

Smelly Paul pointed out a few days ago that I am living a bachelor's life.

Going out on weekdays, doing random ridiculous things, basically, living a very selfish life. And not being one little bit apologetic for it.

And I unapologetically admit that is a perfect description.

As of late, Sarin have been living like we're older and smarter 22 year olds. Saying yes to random things and trying to be open to time being spent outside of our respective apartments. And, well, it's awesome, exhausting, but awesome.

Since September long weekend I have been: to Seattle for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, seen Franz Ferdinand in Malkin Bowl, been to a magazine launch party, went to The Pet Shop Boys with my boyfriends, seen The Monotonix, Holy Fuck, and I just got back from Las Vegas with my friend Andi.

Holy shit, I had no idea how ... busy September was until I wrote about it.

You'll get semi-full details of my trip to Vegas soon enough.

Wake-up Call

I used to set them all the time. But I always hated receiving them.

I hate waking up. But today, I kinda got an unexpected wake-up call.

Today, something happened (I won't go into the details here) that made me think about my life and my immediate future.

Not in a deep, reflective sorta way, but thinking nonetheless.

I was thinking about Vancouver. Whether or not this is the place for me. Whether or not I would be willing to leave it tomorrow, if the situation warranted. Whether or not I would be willing to apply and take the job for $60k a year - despite that being considerably more money than I will see for years. Whether or not I am ok with losing the ties I have here, however loose they may be.

And when I was done thinking, I realized I am not really ready to leave Vancouver. That I am starting to have a little life here - with people I generally quite like, things I enjoy doing, and routines I have gotten used to.

For so long, Vancouver was tied to P3 - and that isn't the case anymore. No longer does every god-damn-thing remind me of him.

Thank fucking god.


Oh, on a lighter note, I was outside for my afternoon ciggie today and received a you-can-be-saved type pamphlet.

heh.

Know your target audience.

PYT

It's my favorite MJ tune. Just so good, and under-played.

Last night, my friend Sarin and I went to a good old-fashioned dance party. The dance party was in tribute of the King of Pop, and his untimely passing.

I am not going to go into the whole boo-hoo thing here. Yes, it is sad, a person died. However, I am totally unaffected by it. Nothing about his death is going to affect my real-life. Nothing.

I saw a girl on the news crying because she didn't get to tell him how much she loved him.

What? I don't understand this out-pouring of emotion for a person you never met.

Don't get me wrong, I loved MJ as much as the next person, but people, there is no need to go off the deep-end like that. If you can't handle the death of a celebrity, what the fuck are you going to do when someone you actually know dies?

Holy tangent.

Anyways, this here dance-party was held at this venue I have been itching to go to for a while - Dollhouse Studios.

Take a look - it looks hella cool, and it was hella cool. They put together a busy party in two days. So fun.

Anyways, that was my way of saying goodbye to MJ. Far better than crying in public or looking like a drama queen on national television.

Yes, I am judging. Sue me.

Maybe Vancouver doesn't suck

This week has been brilliant here in Vancouver.

Here's why.

1) As I mentioned before, May was super busy at work. We were down a couple of key people and while the rest of us couldn't pick-up all the slack, we did a pretty fucking good job. So, as a 'Thanks for working your asses off in May' my boss took us on his 98-year old wooden boat.

Fuck is it pretty.

We went along the harbour and lunched by Lonsdale Quay. We saw a yacht with a helicopter wrapped up, and well, it was awesome.

Best. Lunch. Ever.

2) I have been at the beach three times in the past week, or at the very least been by the beach. My walk home and subsequent water taxi ride are still in effect and rocking my world, but I have started to bring a sarong and just sit in the sun for a bit.

So fucking lovely and relaxing. You can't be stressed out about your day after you sit for twenty minutes and just chill out.

3) Friday rocked!

My mission on Friday night was an early evening drunk. I am talking public drinking, with friends, right after work. Now, while the 'right after work' part didn't happen that way, the early evening drunk did.

I met Josh at Kits beach, he had awesomely brought some beer for us, and we sat, drank, chit-chatted, and gawked at the scenery surrounding us. Priscilla soon joined with some friends, and then Sarin met-up with us.

Sitting there, drinking, chatting with friends, I said it out-loud:

Vancouver doesn't suck.

At least right now.

But this week, this glorious week, Vancouver didn't suck.

It's about fucking time.

Also, I have friends, did you notice? I met up with three, yes three people at the beach! And they don't suck. That is pretty fucking cool.

Oh thank God

I went to Bloc Party tonight at the Commodore. I was really nervous for this show - not because of the social anxiety stuff, but because the last time I saw BP, they rocked my world.

I wasn't sure if it was them, or the location (a former pool in Brooklyn) or my whole 'New York' haze.

And well, I was nervous that seeing them again would tarnish my memory of their shows. Tarnish, what up until this point, has been the best concert experience of my life.

Thankfully, tonight's show didn't ruin my memory. In fact, it reinforced it. It wasn't just the location - they really are that good.

In fact, they fucking rocked.

High energy, good mix of old and new, with a good chunk of the old coming at the very end of the show, to act as the best exclamation point on the show.

So fucking good!

There you have it, not everything in life will disappoint you.