Vegas' Y Chromosomes

There are a lot of guys in Vegas.

A lot.

Not all of them were ... quality men. In fact, while most provided good stories, only one name was worth remembering. The rest just made for good blog fodder. I think Andi got the brunt of the creepers - she is super hot and well, I just look kinda angry most of the time. meh.

So here, because I know you have all be waiting to hear about the escapades of Andi and Iris - who, might I add, are a bit like a girl buffet, something for every taste. Now, to the boys of Las Vegas.

XS

While we are walking into the club, some guy just tells us to come with him, so we do and we end up getting in for free - we'll totally take the $20 savings each - however, we won't hangout with you another night. We're just not that into you.

Just because you do something nice, we are not obligated to spend more time with you. Your generosity is appreciated, but that is all.

As we are sitting down, a dude sits on the other side of Andi and starts to create a conversation - being polite, Andi obliges, until he asks "How tall are you?" When she answered, his response: "Cool! We're the same height - let's dance!!"

Seriously, has this worked before? Is it a turn-on to be the same height? Odd.

There was the cute Swiss boy - he was tall, European and well, very cute.And get this - he wasn't creepy! Also, yay for accents!

Boys - being cute and having an accent will always work in your favor. Always. Although, Nein sprechen sie Deutsch.

To the guy on the dancefloor that wouldn't leave Andi alone - yes, I pushed you and yes, I would do it again. Asshole.

Here's the thing - if a girl is unresponsive the first time you try to dance with her, it is likely that SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DANCE WITH YOU. Don't try three more times, just move on. Idiot.

Pure

Um, Pure was BAAAD. The club was pretty, but the boys were a critical fail. No seriously.

Upon arrival, Andi gets stopped by an Aussie who wanted to 'mate' her. As he was holding us both hostage with inane conversation, he starts to talk about his search for juice in Las Vegas.

huh? I'm still confused. JUST GO TO 7-11 and stop talking about it with random people.

After we had broken free from the small Aussie, Andi gets stopped again, but this time by an older dude. This guy wanted to 'guess' which province and city we were from.

Again, huh? Is this a game that works boys? This guessing game? Because it shouldn't and if it has, you have been LUCKY.

Lavo

Lavo was our last stop of Tuesday night and thank goodness. The music was good, the boys weren't as bad and well, we just wanted to dance.

When we sat down, Andi was approached by some random. This time, his topic of conversation was her job. When she mentioned that she works in an accounting office, he asked for two two-digit numbers and proceeded to try and multiply them .. IN HIS HEAD.

You get that she works in an accounting office and isn't actually Rain Man right? Ugh.

There was the old man that invited us to his table for champagne. Seriously, he was there by himself, with a couple of bottles and half naked woman flanking him - the girls weren't actually with him, but were at the club and he invited them over for company and free champagne.

Gross.

Vancouver

After all the Vegas cheesiness, we were happy to be back in Canada where the men are slightly frightened of women.

That was until we were leaving Josh's apartment and two dudes get into the elevator with us. The conversation went like this:

Dude 1: Where did you ladies come from tonight?
Us: Um, just a friend's apartment
Dude 2: Of course they were in the building - where did you think they were, the sky?
Dude 1: Well, angels sometimes fall from heaven.

WHEN HAS THIS WORKED?! I mean, I am a fan of cheesy lines - if you are playing them as cheesy. These dudes were serious.

So, boys, the moral of the story:

Don't be a douchebag. If you want to chat with a girl, make sure she's actually interested in the conversation. No one's asking for deep conversation or anything, but give her something she can work with.

Above all else, remember: NO ED HARDY.

Tangent: What is it with Ed Hardy - why is this brand around? Who is wearing this shit? Who thinks it looks good? Please, stop buying Ed Hardy and buy a shirt with only a couple of colours and no bedazzled accessories. Even if you are from New Jersey - this is unacceptable. If you are from LA, well, it is just expected.

Ugh.

Sorry. So yes, the boys of Vegas were a'plenty, but the quality of Vegas was lacking.

Badly.

Black 17!

I love gambling. I know it is a total waste of money, but I really really love it. The thrill of winning, and in Vegas, the free booze.

Wednesday Andi and I dragged our hungover selves out of bed and across the street for some grease. Then the pool was calling our names.

Can we just talk about The Wynn for a second? I freaking love this hotel - two sinks in the bathrooms, automatic curtains, great buffet, huge rooms, and fresh fruit by the pool. I didn't want to leave, and if I didn't have to work, I may not have.

Post-sunning, Andi went upstairs, but I went to wander ... over to the roulette table! Yeah!!

After five hours, countless drinks and many chips I thought it was a good idea to get back to the room and get ready for the evening - after all, it was 7PM!

As I stumbled my way through the hotel, looking for a way out, I realized something ...

I was drunkity drunk drunk.

After a shower, and a change of clothes, we headed out for the evening, however, the best thing about this night was going to be the food and the conversation.

We were told to go to LAX at the Luxor. It was the worst ever. Seriously.

Although my favorite conversation of the night occurred at LAX:

Iris: I give this place 20 minutes and then we should leave
Andi: I give it 10
Andi: (25 seconds later)Let's just go now.

Good. Life. Choice.

Gluttons

We got up late on Tuesday. It was awesome.

When we woke up, we knew one thing - we were hitting the hotel's buffet. And we were excited.

If you haven't been, Vegas buffets are a thing of beauty - samplings from around the world, decadent desserts, and sometimes, champagne.

The Wynn's was truly magical. The room we ate in looked like something out of Alice and Wonderland and holy fuck were there desserts. Shot-sized tiramisu and rice pudding, ice cream, various cakes and tortes and good god nearly everything. I had 7 items from the dessert section and I have mentioned, I am not a huge dessert fan.

We sat, we gorged, and then we slept.

It was awesome.

That night, we went to Pure. You will read more about it soon enough. We promptly left there, and went to Lavo at the Venetian. The music was good, the boys were more up our alley and we danced.

We were even home early - 4:30.

See, we can be good too.

Sinners and the City

Before you get Vegas, you get context.

My friend Andi and I worked at the hotel together. She is a couple years younger than I am, single and hot. We were planning on going to Amsterdam and Oktoberfest, but the months flew by and we forgot to save money. So, we went to Vegas because, well, you couldn't beat the deals.

Seriously, we actually were able to stay at the Wynn! I thought the only way I'd ever get to stay in a property like that was if someone else was paying for it.

Ok, so now you know.

As soon as we got there, we oohed and aahed at how lovely the property was. We dashed to the roomed and were blown away by it. So big! And everything was just perfectly appointed. We changed, darted to get some food and lazed by the pool. It was 37 degrees that first day.

Yes, you read that right.

After the pool, we napped, slept till midnight accidentally and got up to get ready. By the time we got to the club, it was 1AM and a pretty big sausage party. But we're troopers and tried to make the best of it. heh. It wasn't hard.

We drank, we danced, we chatted with boys, we almost got into a fight with one, we made new friends, oh and we got into the club for free.

We were awesome.

A Bachelor's Life

Smelly Paul pointed out a few days ago that I am living a bachelor's life.

Going out on weekdays, doing random ridiculous things, basically, living a very selfish life. And not being one little bit apologetic for it.

And I unapologetically admit that is a perfect description.

As of late, Sarin have been living like we're older and smarter 22 year olds. Saying yes to random things and trying to be open to time being spent outside of our respective apartments. And, well, it's awesome, exhausting, but awesome.

Since September long weekend I have been: to Seattle for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, seen Franz Ferdinand in Malkin Bowl, been to a magazine launch party, went to The Pet Shop Boys with my boyfriends, seen The Monotonix, Holy Fuck, and I just got back from Las Vegas with my friend Andi.

Holy shit, I had no idea how ... busy September was until I wrote about it.

You'll get semi-full details of my trip to Vegas soon enough.

Vegas University

So, I think I learned something in Vegas.

I think it was something I knew at one point, but had totally forgotten in the past few years, since the whole New York debacle.

I had forgotten to live my life.

MY LIFE

The life that had me talking to strangers, and going where I want to go, when I want to go. The life that is worthy of a blog and something to write about.

I mean, I loved my entire weekend there. There isn't a second of it that I regret, because I was fully living the life I had planned on living.

From our late night / early morning friend, to Zumanity, to the 12 Brits in the limo, (one of whom is apparently a semi-famous soccer player) everything was fucking brilliant.

Also, I went on the supermodel diet of Diet Coke and ciggies for most of May, so I was super skinny, and nothing helps a girl feel more like living life than looking skinny.

I don't know what in particular it was, I mean, I didn't feel different there, but I sure did feel different when I got back. I have a spring in my step. And well, I feel like something clicked.

It also helps that I got some boy attention. I hadn't received any boy attention in a while, between working my ass off and being depressed about P3, boys were not flocking to me.

But in Vegas, I had boy attention. One in particular. This adorable Brit plumped up my ego like a mofo, and while I can't remember his name, I am soooo happy that he stepped into my life.

I am kinda glad I can't remember his name though, because then I would be stalking online. And that would be bad.

Very bad.

So yes, through all the debauchery and dead brain cells, I came back from my weekend rejuvenated ... imagine how I would feel if I had slept.

You do crazy things on no sleep

Well, Saturday was an adventure. After getting back to the hotel around 7AM, Lis and I stayed up and giggled an appropriate amount, waking up the other girls and finally headed to bed around 9 or 10.

I was up again at 12:30 when Chunk and Autumn were getting ready. So I decided to go for lunch with them and see what the day would bring.

We went to a nice little French resto at the Paris. I had been there once before with my aunt. Food was still great, and our waiter was super fantastic.

Then we went shopping.

Then I wanted to die.

My hangover finally started at around 6pm. Yup, you read that right, 6 PM. What the fuck is that?!

We bought tickets to Zumanity. Holy shit was it good.

We were all blown away by it. It was funny, interactive and totally provocative. Great. I totally recommend it to the non-prudes out there.

After Zumanity, we hit up the casino at New York New York. We won some money. It was awesome.

Then off to ghostbar at the Palms.

A dancefloor outside, on the 55th floor - the breeze was incredibly conducive to dancing.

So we did. And we drank. And we danced. And we talked with boys. And fuck was it fun.

After the club closed we went to hang out with some new friends, and again, didn't get home till very early in the morning.

Debaucherous tales of Las Vegas

I hadn't been to Vegas in years. It had been so long, in fact, that I had forgotten what a ridiculously good time it can be.

This will be the first of several posts, as one would be too long and well, you deserve to know everything in the greatest of details.

What happens in Vegas no longer stays in Vegas. At least not when you have a blog.

Friday
I was so freaking excited for this trip. I had planned my outfits weeks before, prepped what I had hoped to do, and started to talk about it non-stop to anyone that would listen.

Fuck was I excited. Work had been hella busy, and while this couldn't have been a worse time, it also couldn't have been a better time. A full weekend with no work, no emails, no interweb.

Who was an excited lady?

I was, that's who.

So, Friday morning, I of course slept in a bit, made a mad dash for the border, with several panic attacks in between and boarded what could only be considered the ultimate party plane.

I swear every person on there, except for me, was hammered. (I had no American cash on me, hence the sobriety)

2.5 hours later, I landed in Vegas, ready for what promised to be a fucking gong show.

I hadn't seen the girls since March, so it was super exciting to see them all. Chunk was so pregnant it was shocking! I just had no idea her little body could carry that bump.

So Friday, we shopped, we explored a bit and then we went for dinner. PF Changs. Yeah, it was marginal, at best.

After dinner, Lis & I went for our first little adventure.

First off to Tryst. Yes, the club was beautiful - we are talking going from inside to outside, with a waterfall beautiful - but the music was meh and the boys were meh.

Oh well, as the club was closing, we decided - We need to dance! (At 4 in the morning).

At our request, the cabbie took us to an after-hours.

But it wasn't JUST an after-hours. Oh no, this my friends, was a stripclub.

SAY WHAT!? I don't want nipples with my gin & tonic. We promptly finished our drinks and headed out the door.

It was morning already and time for this night ... morning ... whenever to come to an end. But not before a stop at the Paris Hotel & Casino and the best McD's run ever. Not to mention the funniest.

Good life choices all around. Well except for the stripclub. And the normal club. And the resto.

Ok, so maybe the company compensated for the marginal-nature of the other things.

But still, good life choices.

Next ... Saturday.

So not bloggable

I had an interesting life once. It was full of fun activities, boys and random stories. It was lovely, and it gave me something to blog about.

That life is no more. At least right now. I am hopeful my life will become interesting again soon enough.

Where did that life go? I wonder that all the time.

Well, I think I have an answer - it went to work.

Work has become very consuming as of late. I work evenings, weekends, I have been coming in early and staying late. Work has become my life.

And I am not naturally disposed to being a hardworker. In fact, I am unabashedly lazy. It takes a lot of energy for me to work this hard.

Gah.

I see the light at the end of the tunnel though, and that light looks like Las Vegas. Lis, Chunk, Autumn and I are hitting up Vegas this weekend for someone's 30th - I won't name names.

So yes, I will get a break soon. I will get to dress a little slutty, probably make some poor life choices and have a tiny bit of regret when I get back, but fuck it. I am going to Vegas!

And maybe then, there will be something blog-worthy to talk about. Or maybe, they will be too scandalous to share.

I am ok with either.