For once unafraid, I can go where life leads me

For once in my life, I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before
For once, I have something I know won't desert me
I'm not alone anymore

Funny as hell

Seriously - does shit get funnier than this? I've watched this clip at least 20 times and still laugh out loud with each viewing.

It's HIGH-larious!

Skype-tastic!

I've been on the Skype bandwagon for a few years now - it had been a life-saver when trying to keep in touch while I was in NYC, but for all the money it saved me then, I still had yet to fully appreciate the magic of the technology. 

Until this week.

This week, my Swiss friend and I had our first video chat via Skype, and it was magical.

I hadn't seen his face since I was on the train leaving Bern, and well that wasn't the happiest of days. It had also felt like I had started making up how cute he is. Like my memory had made him up and he was merely just a normal dude I had manifested, or something. But let me tell ya, I didn't make it up. He really is as cute as I remembered. And not to mention as silly as can be. I'm smiling from ear-to-ear just writing this.

So back to the call. I had no idea I could be so excited to see someone's face. We have had many telephone calls, but this video call takes the cake. To see him, sitting there, looking right at me. Fuck. It was awesome.

It really was. But at the same time, this Skype call proved harder than I expected.

Huh?

Well, I don't like boys often. I go on dates, but most boys fail to impress or leave any impression at all. But this boy, well this boy has left an impression. A pretty deep impression in fact. So to see his face, and hear his voice. To know that he was as excited (I think) to see me, but to not be able to reach out and touch him, well that was harder than I expected. Much harder. It took everything (and a maxed out credit card) to stop me from buying a one-way ticket to Switzerland and not look back.

But as he has said before: "This is life. You are there and I am here. What can we do?"

Suck balls man.

Twas a good day

I love my job. You are all aware of that. But there are things about my job that scare the shit out of me.

Media relations is one of them.

You see, early on in my career, I had some ... failures in the media relations department. First there was the New York Times reporter that yelled and cursed at me.

Then there was a whole situation with a not-for-profit I was working with a couple of years ago and not being able to get them any media coverage - despite them being totally worthwhile.

So, since then I have removed myself from any media relations activities and focused on things I am much better at, social media being one of them.

Well today was a super duper great day.

Yesterday I pitched a story to some traditional and online publications. None of the traditionals wanted it, but a couple of the online pubs ran the story.

I got an email from the client today that REUTERS - yes, you read that right, Reuters - picked up the story from one of the online publications.

There are some days you feel like you're not the worst. Today is one of those days. This definitely helps push all of the doubt aside.

I've been found out

I don't have to leave anymore
What I have is right here
Spend my nights and days before
Searching the world for what's right here.

Underneath and unexplored
Islands and cities I have looked
Here I saw
Something I couldn't overlook



Have I mentioned how I'm in love with the idea of being found? Because I am.

Head full of doubt

I mentioned that I made a mistake at work a couple of weeks ago. It was a silly mistake, and I am still not over it.

This mistake has left me ... doubtful.

Maybe I'm not cut-out for the business world. Maybe I am not as awesome as I like to believe. Maybe all the faith my company has in me is totally misplaced.

I can't help but think that the other shoe is going to drop. That I will be exposed as a fraud and that everyone around me is going to end up disappointed in me. That everyone will see my confident bravado is just that, bravado.

I know it's totally obsessive of me, but I can't help it. I am still unable to shake the doubt and it's definitely getting to me.

Just thought I would share.

I wanna believe in everything you believe

I was less than amazing
Do not know what all the troubles are for
Fall asleep in your branches
You're the only thing I want anymore