Thursday, August 13, 2009

Totally worth it

How do you put into words your worth?

How do you articulate all the intangible qualities that make you you?

And when someone doesn't recognize your worth, how long do you stay? How long do you sit around and let this person or situation take advantage of you, solely for their benefit?

I have mentioned I am very loyal - to a fault in fact a lot of times - and I struggle with cutting ties and ending relationships. What if I have more to learn / gain / enjoy out of it?

So my question to my 10 readers - how do you know when enough is enough and to just walk away? How do you know when a situation is toxic enough that the best option for you is to remove yourself from it?

How?!

Because I am not really sure I know that point. When I have broken up with friends before, it was long after the relationship had turned toxic. Boyfriends, well, rarely am I the breaker-upper. And jobs, up until this one, I have only had jobs that were 'replaceable'.

*sigh*

Sometimes, I wish there was just a magic button you could push to get all the answers. How fucking lovely would that be?

11 comments:

Joanne said...

if you get an answer, please forward it my way.
I like to tell myself that by putting up with everyone's shit, i am demonstratiing an abnormally high inner stregth...don't ask me how that reflects on my intelligence though

MDAWG said...

i don't have a magic button, but a magic bottle. several actually... kokanee, absolute, dr. mcgillicuddy's.. usually, after consulting my magic bottles, decisions/situations don't seem as difficult to make. i.e. cleaning a kitchen through beer goggles is much easier than without! talking to the parentals about not inviting their drinking buddies to MY wedding is loud, but my point gets across! DISCLAIMER: not recommended for addictive personalities!

iris said...

@joanne - The strength thing! Gets me everytime - I always think, if I can deal with this, I am one tough mofo.
Like you, I'm not sure what that says about me in the brains department though.

@mdawg - the hangover the next day makes everything super fuzzy though.

samram7 said...

yeah but I think Mdawg is onto something. But I'm one of those addicted personalities.

Ready for my Buddha moment?

I think ultimately worth is determined by the self. People will treat you the way you let them treat you. And if you let them treat you less than your worth, then that's when the problems come.

And Iris, you are worth a whole hell of a lot.

I say all this, but easier to tell someone this as opposed to actually doing it. I'm a victim of the same problem you describe.

iris said...

@samram - please remind me of your buddha moment regularly.

Thanks,

Iris

Ads said...

I think you are worth a lot ... at least a pulled pork sandwich and a beer, so I'll buy you lunch next week. Does this make me one of your 10 readers? Should me comment be more heartfelt? Honestly, Iris Dias rules and anyone who doesn't treat her as such deserves nothing at all.

iris said...

@Ads - I will take you up on the pulled pork and the beer. Thanks for the kind words AG - look at you, still rocking my world.

Adam Snider said...

I wish I knew the answer to this. I hate quitting jobs, even ones I hate. I just feel so awkward when I hand in my two weeks' notice.

As for relationships, well, I stayed in an on-again-off-again thing that was SUPER toxic for waaaaay too long because, at least at the time, I thought that was the best I could do.

Anonymous said...

whoever samram is, i agree with him/her, you are worth A LOT!!!!!!!

Harp

Jarod said...

I could give you my advice, but then I think you already know what that is. Besides is my opinion on leaving jobs even valid anymore?

writerlytype said...

Ok, let's see. Someone has already taken my Buddah costume so I'll just come out with it in know-it-all fashion instead.

There are so many things that are outside our control. We are rarely in charge in the larger scheme of things. In real life we don't often face "big decisions" -- the majority of the time we coast, we deal, we take the easy path, the one that doesn't ask too much of us. So, when the rare opportunity to really become the navigator in your life appears you need to take advantage of it, otherwise you are just practicing, not living.

So, you make a choice and you leap. You may not be right, you may be wrong about bringing something to an end, that relationship may not be 100% dead yet, that job could have another 20mediocre years left in it -- but, really, what difference does that make if you "choose" to look at it differently. (learn/gain/enjoy: that doesn't go away, just gets new clothes, if you know what I mean).

Never be afraid to make the leap. The leap is what it's all about.