Everyone here is so excited about the fucking cherry blossom trees blooming. "Oh, the streets look so beautiful! They look like cotton candy!"
Barf
o
rama
Like, seriously? Seriously? This is what this city gets so excited for?
Seriously.
And the cherry on top of this whole thing (pun absolutely intended)
The trees don't even make cherries!
So, what is the point of them?? To dress this city up? Because just like the cherry blossom trees, this city is pretty, but what is the real purpose?
Gah. I am sorry, I am just so fucking sick and tired of these cherry blossom trees - if you can even call them that.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I'm So Ronery
Where the fuck do you make friends? I mean, for someone my age, it is next to impossible.
I have been struggling with this one for a while now. I have a brilliant circle of friends in Edmonton. Fun, smart, witty, hilarious and they are all mine. But here, I have nothing. I mean, I have a couple of friends, but nothing / no one that really compares to the quantity and quality of friends in Edmonton.
So where do you meet people? I am no longer a club-goer. I just don’t have the energy. And at my age, people already have a pretty stable group of friends and likely aren’t taking applications. I wouldn’t be if I was them. Friends are a lot of work. You have to make time for them, take their feelings into consideration and do all of this on a consistent enough basis, that it slowly builds a friendship.
For me, I would rather stay at home and work than go out there and try to meet people. How annoying are people and why should I want to spend time with them? I can barely tolerate myself most days and then I am expected to open up my world to new and annoying people I can’t tell to shut up? Seems a little … unappealing.
I suppose I shall just throw myself into my work and try to be as competent as possible. Boy, am I glad I live here.
No I’m not.
I have been struggling with this one for a while now. I have a brilliant circle of friends in Edmonton. Fun, smart, witty, hilarious and they are all mine. But here, I have nothing. I mean, I have a couple of friends, but nothing / no one that really compares to the quantity and quality of friends in Edmonton.
So where do you meet people? I am no longer a club-goer. I just don’t have the energy. And at my age, people already have a pretty stable group of friends and likely aren’t taking applications. I wouldn’t be if I was them. Friends are a lot of work. You have to make time for them, take their feelings into consideration and do all of this on a consistent enough basis, that it slowly builds a friendship.
For me, I would rather stay at home and work than go out there and try to meet people. How annoying are people and why should I want to spend time with them? I can barely tolerate myself most days and then I am expected to open up my world to new and annoying people I can’t tell to shut up? Seems a little … unappealing.
I suppose I shall just throw myself into my work and try to be as competent as possible. Boy, am I glad I live here.
No I’m not.
Friday, March 21, 2008
What an idiot!
I often think I am. And this likely ties into my social anxiety and busy head issues, but when I am an idiot or I THINK I am an idiot, I obsess about it. For days, weeks, months, fuck, there are somethings I did years ago that I still obsess over.
Have you ever read a situation so wrong you wonder if you can read at all? It happens to me all the time and it sucks.
You think one thing and then BLAMO you are hit with the hard truth. You were wrong. So wrong, for so long.
It is brutal, it makes my heart sink to the pit of my stomach, but continues to race at a million miles a minute, makes me smoke like a mofo and it renders me unable to move (except to go to the balcony and smoke like a million times a day).
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I hate this feeling. I wish it never happened to me. I wish I could just be fooled for the rest of my life, living in my happy little bubble.
Why is it, the older we get, the less capable we become of dealing with stuff? Is it because we are more aware of the consequences?
Gah.
Have I mentioned I hate being a grown up?
Have you ever read a situation so wrong you wonder if you can read at all? It happens to me all the time and it sucks.
You think one thing and then BLAMO you are hit with the hard truth. You were wrong. So wrong, for so long.
It is brutal, it makes my heart sink to the pit of my stomach, but continues to race at a million miles a minute, makes me smoke like a mofo and it renders me unable to move (except to go to the balcony and smoke like a million times a day).
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
I hate this feeling. I wish it never happened to me. I wish I could just be fooled for the rest of my life, living in my happy little bubble.
Why is it, the older we get, the less capable we become of dealing with stuff? Is it because we are more aware of the consequences?
Gah.
Have I mentioned I hate being a grown up?
Monday, March 17, 2008
I have a problem
Well, I have many, but just one of them is ...
I have a really busy head. It is enough to send a girl over the edge. Especially when that busy head takes over at 3 AM and doesn't let you get back to bed.
Hello! I like to sleep.
Jerk.
People think I am crazy. Jarod has often mentioned how he just doesn't get it. Well it is easy to not get when you don't have a thought!
Sorry, that was way harsh. I am just so tired. I was a zombie at work today, after 3PM, I was ready to crawl to the bus stop and go home. I am pretty sure my mind did.
Oh, but I am getting really excited to move into a permanent (at least more permanent) place than this. I am going to decorate like a mofo. I can't wait.
Also, I think I might be the lamest person in Vancouver. I mean, Vancouver is supposed to be cool, PR is a cool, sexy profession, but Friday and Saturday nights, I did nothing. Like absolutely nothing. How sad is that? Gah. I don't even want to talk about it.
It is 8:15PM, I am going to bed.
I have a really busy head. It is enough to send a girl over the edge. Especially when that busy head takes over at 3 AM and doesn't let you get back to bed.
Hello! I like to sleep.
Jerk.
People think I am crazy. Jarod has often mentioned how he just doesn't get it. Well it is easy to not get when you don't have a thought!
Sorry, that was way harsh. I am just so tired. I was a zombie at work today, after 3PM, I was ready to crawl to the bus stop and go home. I am pretty sure my mind did.
Oh, but I am getting really excited to move into a permanent (at least more permanent) place than this. I am going to decorate like a mofo. I can't wait.
Also, I think I might be the lamest person in Vancouver. I mean, Vancouver is supposed to be cool, PR is a cool, sexy profession, but Friday and Saturday nights, I did nothing. Like absolutely nothing. How sad is that? Gah. I don't even want to talk about it.
It is 8:15PM, I am going to bed.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Pooped
I am so freaking tired. I don't think I have ever been more exhausted in my life. All of a sudden, my work is all-consuming.
And I love it.
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT
Even the really stressful stuff is exhilarating. I am excited to go to work every day, I love my coworkers and I have a fun time at work. We work when we have to and laugh when we can. It is a perfect work environment for me.
Each and every day, my wait to take the perfect job becomes more and more vindicated. I was right.
This is totally worth it.
And I love it.
LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT
Even the really stressful stuff is exhilarating. I am excited to go to work every day, I love my coworkers and I have a fun time at work. We work when we have to and laugh when we can. It is a perfect work environment for me.
Each and every day, my wait to take the perfect job becomes more and more vindicated. I was right.
This is totally worth it.
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