Come on down to the street and dance with me

How stupid is it? I can't talk about it
I gotta sing about it and make a record of my heart
How stupid is it? Won't you give me a minute
Just come up to me and say hello to my heart
How stupid is it?
For all I know you want me too
And maybe you just don't know what to do
Or maybe you're scared to say: "I'm falling for you"

I wish I could get my head out of the sand
'Cause I think we'd make a good team
And you would keep my fingernails clean
But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize
'Cause I can't even look in your eyes
Without shakin', and I ain't fakin'
I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon.

I'm a lot like you so please
Hello, I'm here, I'm waiting
I think I'd be good for you
And you'd be good for me

This one time, I had no idea

Well, this week has been interesting. 

I spent Canada Day long weekend with two of my favorite people in the world. I drove 7 hours to Valemount, BC to visit a couple of gays and their new cabin. It was quiet, and peaceful, and amazingly perfect. I came back to face the week with some much needed clarity.

Then Monday happened, and all clarity went away. Now I'm left without an anchor, and without a reason to be logical. 

For the first time in many years, I have the chance to choose the life I want. But that begs the question, 'What do I want?'

My plan has changed several times since Monday and I expect it will change many more times in the coming weeks. I think that's normal. Right?! There are just so many things to consider! And I suppose, I will never know what the right answer is, but in the coming weeks, an answer will have to be made. No 'ifs', 'ands', or 'buts' about it.

This shit's about to get real. 

Happy birthday

On June 16, 2006 I started this here blog. From the first post and my excitement to be in New York, to the heartbreak of giving up a dream.

This blog has seen me at my lowest - unemployed, suffering ACTUAL heartbreak, medical woes and lonely as hell. It has been witness to my humourous attempts at finding a romantic partner - every shitty date, speed dating, and even an international romance (here, here and here). It has seen me travel the Far East, Europe twice, and many many road trips.

I feel like I have grown with this blog. When I look back at older posts, I can see it, in my actual writing and the thoughts behind the writing. My life today doesn't look like it did in 2006 - thank goodness. My life today is grown up, with a job that makes me happy, in a city that isn't as bad as I originally thought.

So there she be. Five years of a blog that no one, other than me, gives a shit about. Thanks Internet for making a narcissist out of me and helping me share it with anyone who wants a read. Or those who happen to Google any of the following:

• "iris dias" bitch brown girl
• fun things to do when your awake at 6 in the morning
• gay morinville (My personal favorite)
• my girlfriend invited me to passover
• all of a sudden, i am obsessed with shoes
• cute italian boys
• have a debaucherous time in vegas
• irisdias sucks shit blog
• olympic theme jello shooters

Happy birthday blog. You've been my most stable outlet for the past five years, and for that I am forever grateful.

What have you been up to?

Holy shit, I last wrote a real post in February.

My bad. But in my defense, well, there is no defense. I suck. Big time.

So hear, to catch you up, is a catch-up post. YAY!

First, like I've mentioned before I'm now a co-host of a wicked-awesome podcast.
talk•fool•ery is easily my favorite creative outlet. I think we're finding our groove - I'm 'nervous giggling' a whole lot less - and I'm super thankful that Corey asked me to be his co-host. If you haven't done so already, you should totally check it out. As one review says, 'Good podcast for mindless indulgence."

Yes!

Second, I've been traveling a bunch. I've been to Edmonton to entertain my niece & nephew, back to Edmonton for a surprise for ma, San Fran to visit Eve to spend some time with her and her adorable daughter Dixie Mae. I have to admit, I fell in love with Dixie. We had a blast together, and she made me wish my friends with babies lived a whole lot closer.

I also went to Saint John, New Brunswick for the CPRS Conference. I was there as an attendee and to fetch an award my company won. Saint John was lovely, I ate a ton of lobster, drank a lot of beer and was hit on by a 65 year old man. A man who thought he had a shot at me! WHAT!?

The fundraiser was a rocking success, and a million thanks to anyone who helped in any way, shape or form. What a way to warm my cynical heart.

That's about it.

In four days it will be this blog's five year anniversary. What shall I write ...

Editor's Note: While I was en route home, my amazing friend Harp got her ass out of bed at 5:30 in the morning to visit me at the airport and have breakfast with me. It was fantastic and lovely and she is a wonderful source of light and inspiration in my life. 

I wouldn't be me if it weren't for Slave Lake

I grew up in a small town in Northern Alberta. About 2.5 hours north of Edmonton, with a population of 7,000. That town was Slave Lake. Though I haven't called Slave Lake home in many years, it will forever be my hometown.

Last night, Slave Lake went up in flames. The pictures are horrifying and since the full evacuation was ordered, information has been sparse. It breaks my heart thinking about pieces of my childhood being burned. And though my family and friends are all ok, I can't imagine what life will be like when they return, what devastation awaits them.

Slave Lake is where the seeds of Iris started: where I met my two oldest friends; where I learned to skate (and subsequently fall); where I made far too many poor boy choices; where everyone knew me as Bob's daughter (which I still have a complex about); where I had my first job (a janitor at my best friend's dad's clinic); where I got drunk for the first time and smoked my first ciggie.

Most of yesterday, I watched the internet in horror, realizing my childhood home, businesses my dad built, friends' homes and many other pieces of my history are now gone.

For all the times I have tried to hide my Slave Lake roots, I know (and have known), beyond a shadow of a doubt,

I wouldn't be me if it weren't for Slave Lake

And now much of the town is gone.

My heart breaks for the town, for its residents, for its alumni, for everyone that has been touched by this Northern Alberta gem.

If you feel compelled to donate (which I hope many of you do) the Red Cross is probably the best way to do it.